Title: Simple Liberties – Endgame
Author: Ky (venom69)
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Rating: Mature People
Summary: What if Chakotay had said no?
Character/Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay
Spoilers: None... the show’s ended!
Warnings: Language, adult themes.
Author’s Notes: Song belongs to Boys II Men. Part 9 of the Simple Liberties series. 262,018 words and 715 pages later. This baby is officially finished.
Disclaimer: Usual guff. Not mine, promise to put them back where I found them.
Date: 25/08/08

***

Although we’ve come
To the end of the road
Still I can’t let you go
It’s unnatural
You belong to me, I belong to you

***

The bridge remained silent.

Kathryn suspected that no one actually wanted an answer. Well, they did, but then they didn't, either.

If they were in the Delta Quadrant, then this was yet another disappointment that had seen them a hair's breath from home, only to have it cruelly ripped away from them. Not only that, but the wormhole could have led anywhere. So, not only could they possibly still be in the Delta Quadrant, they could also be even further from home than they had been a day ago.

If they were in the Beta or the Gamma Quadrant, it would be progress on one hand and five steps back on the other.

But, if they were in the Alpha Quadrant, then the former Maquis were in danger of... well, they didn't really know what, exactly.

They knew that Starfleet would not let them go with a slap on the wrist and a 'thanks for seeing the ship home safely.' But Owen had expressed his doubt about the Maquis being 'criminals' and that offered a small glimmer of hope, if nothing else. Still, he'd been right in what he'd said; he wasn't the one they had to convince and Kathryn knew, without doubt, that some of the higher ups would have red-faces and scores to settle. The Maquis had been an extremely controversial issue for a number of years.

Everyone on Voyager had formed their own opinions over the years. She suspected that Starfleet wouldn't pay much attention to that, though. She anticipated the Stockholm syndrome that a Counsellor would, eventually, throw at them. Hell, Kathryn was sleeping with one of their most wanted men and having his child to boot.

They were going to have a field day with her.

Chakotay moved to her side, the silence continuing. He took her hand in his and offered her a smile of support before he spoke. "Harry?"

"We're home, sir." His voice held a tremor.

"Are you sure?"

"From our position it should take less than an hour to reach Earth." He elaborated, his voice stronger. Kathryn could hear the smile.

But an hour? God.

This morning she'd been thinking about the reality of having a child onboard a Starship and now she was faced with the knowledge that it would happen on Earth. She'd wanted it, but she hadn't really thought it would happen.

Kathryn swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to smile. "You did it."

"We did it." Chakotay corrected. "Open a ship wide channel, please."

Harry was grinning from ear to ear now, the shock not lasting with his excitement. "It's open."

"I'll make this short. You all knew what the plan was and you all knew the risks." Chakotay took a deep breath. "Voyagers, look out the window; we're home."

Kathryn could hear the deafening cheer that went up, seeming to reverberate throughout the entire ship. People hugged her and congratulated her and said things that she didn't hear over the ringing in her own ears. Chakotay kissed her for far longer than was appropriate on the Bridge but she responded anyway.

It was only when they were hailed that everyone seemed to come back to themselves, realizing that while the fact that they were home was a celebratory event, what came next might not be. It was the proverbial bucket of cold water being poured over them and, as though the ship was full of bi-polar suffers, the mood dropped in an instant.

Chakotay nodded to Tuvok to open the link and he stood at parade rest, unsurprised when Owen's face appeared.

"How did you-"

"Long story." Chakotay shrugged. "Want to start those negotiations, now?"

***

"Computer, recognize the change in command and note that Kathryn Janeway is now Commanding Officer of Voyager. Move all command codes to her. Confirm."

Kathryn’s mouth hung open as she stared at him. He hadn't said anything when he'd entered their Quarters. He'd stood just inside the door and simply began to address the computer.

She hadn't seen him since he'd taken Owen's call to the Ready Room. She had no idea what had been said or agreed on but if this was the result, she was kind of glad she hadn't been in there. On the other hand, she wish she had been in there to throttle her lover.

What the hell is he doing? "What-"

The computer beeped before he could speak. "Confirmed; Current Captain of Voyager is Kathryn Janeway."

Moving from her position on the couch - she'd been in a call with her mother not long ago - she folded her arms and glared at him. "What are you doing?"

He shrugged. "You should be the one to bring Voyager in."

"Chakotay," Kathryn shook her head, partially flabbergasted and partially concerned he'd had an aneurism, "you can’t do this."

"I just did."

"Then I’ll undo it." Kathryn told him firmly. "Computer, recognize the chan-"

"Starfleet have already been informed."

"What? Are you nuts?" She glared at him. "The first thing they’re going to do is order me to put you in handcuffs!"

It wouldn’t go quite like that, but Kathryn expected it would be the general gist of things.

"It doesn't matter."

What the hell had he been drinking? "How can it not matter?"

"Kathryn, leave it."

She observed him, shifting from foot-to-foot, not meeting her eyes... there was something wrong. "What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"Chakotay." He didn't budge. "Chakotay."

"Just leave it." He paused, before adding, "Captain."

Her mind was reeling. "Okay. If I'm Captain, you're still the next highest ranking officer aboard, right?"

"Well, no one else really has a rank per se but... I guess so."

She nodded. "Fine, then I respectfully request that you take control of this vessel as I am unfit for the job."

He sighed. "Kathryn, you're perfectly capable of being Captain."

"Not in conjunction with being on maternity leave, I'm not."

"I... what?"

"You heard me." This wasn't how she had wanted to tell him, but he was frightening her with the change in leadership and Kathryn had no idea what the hell was going on.

"How long have you know?"

"I found out yesterday, right before the Admiral showed up." Quite literally.

"Are you okay?"

"The baby is perfectly healthy and approximately twelve weeks old." She knew that he would understand the significance.

"Quarra." He nodded to himself. "Wow."

"Yeah." She waited for a moment, giving him a chance to absorb the news, before she spoke again. "So, you'll take that Captaincy back now, right?"

She knew that, later, she'd be kicking herself for this whole conversation. They were having a baby and all that was on her mind was who would be in the Captain's Chair when they docked. In all fairness, she had already had a day to get used to the idea, but it wasn't the point. This wasn't what she wanted to remember as the moment Chakotay found out.

For his part, he simply sighed again and raised an eyebrow. "Kathryn, don't do this."

"Do what?" She replied, her voice rising in volume and emotion. "Ask questions? Want to know what's going on? Don't do what, exactly?"

He didn't answer and that was probably a good thing. "Can't we just be happy about this?"

"I am happy but you're scaring me. What's going on?"

Before he spoke, his gaze flicked down to her stomach and Kathryn had a feeling that, whatever had happened, knowing about the baby simply strengthened his resolve to do what he thought best. She held her breath.

"I'm going to jail."

***

Kathryn was muttering as she stalked toward the Ready Room.

If that stupid, arrogant, pigheaded, asshole had gone and sold his own hide to save anyone, then she was going to kill him. She'd explain to their child that his or her mother had simply spaced their father when he acted like an idiot and they were better off without him.

Except that they weren't, which was why she was stalking her way to his - her, technically - office to call Owen and undo whatever the nobhead had done.

Bloody men.

By the time she reached the Ready Room she was feeling quite the feminist, cursing the opposite gender for the traits that they all had which, put quite bluntly, annoyed the shit out of women. For the love of everything holy, it was the twenty-fourth century and they still hadn't found a mutually appealing solution to the positioning of the bloody toilet seat.

Punching in the call harder than the poor computer terminal deserved, Kathryn watched as the Starfleet logo spun around, digitally mocking her.

Probably designed by a man.

Owen appeared a few minutes later after her call had, no doubt, been bounced around four different offices.

"Kathryn. Good to see you."

Her eyes saw only red. Even the novelty of being able to call without the involvement of aliens that wanted to shoot them and relay stations and subspace anomalies didn't appeal to her.

"What the hell is going on?" She demanded, more respectfully adding a, "Sir."

"What are you talking about, Kathryn?"

"Why did the father of my child just tell me that he was going to jail?"

Owen sighed, the pretence gone. He had, apparently, decided to ignore the part where she admitting to sleeping with Chakotay and went right to the heart of it, "Because he is."

Oh hell no.

She opened her mouth to reply, but stopped short when Owen was joined on-screen by none other than Admiral Nechayev.

The other woman hadn't changed much since Kathryn had seen her last; her face was still marred with a permanent scowl and Kathryn wondered if she got regular splinters from the pole she'd always had up her ass.

Nechayev had worked with her father for a few years. Kathryn had only ever known that Daddy didn't like her but, as her own career had flourished in Starfleet, she'd begun to understand it.

It seemed that, whenever there was a controversial issue, Nechayev wasn't far from the heart of it. With the Maquis, she had been the one to order Kathryn to the badlands to capture Chakotay and the others. Kathryn suspected that the blonde Admiral before her had the biggest score of all to settle with them and she knew that they were up the proverbial creek when the other woman greeted her.

"Captain. Nice to see you in uniform."

She felt stuffy and uncomfortable and downright ridiculous in the Starfleet shirt and jacket - and hadn't she gotten some odd looks walking through the halls - but took a bit of pleasure in the leathers she wore beneath the desk, knowing they couldn't see her small act of defiance. "Yes, ma'am."

"We’re not celebrating just yet. Your first order is to apprehend the Maquis Captain."

"Are you kidding?" She gaped at her. "No."

She’d been expecting it but she hadn’t really thought they would have been dumb enough to ask. They'd read her logs - and she hadn't talked about Chakotay much, but she had mentioned the change in their relationship a few times - and she'd just obtusely told Owen she was pregnant. There was no way in hell they could seriously expect her to lock him up.

Except even hell was afraid of Neychaev. "It’s an order, Captain."

"I don’t care. No." She terminated the call.

Touching a hand to her belly – a habit she had picked up with surprising ease – Kathryn couldn't help but grin, despite the situation.

Apparently there was a little bit of Maquis in her after all.

Despite the satisfaction she felt now, she knew that she had probably only made the situation worse. Nechayev had a lot of pull in Starfleet and, if they wanted this conundrum to end in a good way, they would probably need her on-side.

She was contemplating that when Harry hailed her a few moments later and informed her that there was a call from Starfleet for her. He patched it through to the Ready Room and, no matter how tempted she was to ignore it, she didn't have enough leverage to do that. Yet.

Owen appeared again, without company. He eyed her seriously. "Antagonising that woman will not serve you well, Kathryn."

"She deserves it."

"I didn't say she didn't. But we both know her power in this situation."

"Owen, what's going on?" She sighed, tired. "The Maquis don't deserve to be treated like criminals."

"Kathryn, they took your Captaincy and they commandeered a Starship."

"And then they returned it." She reminded him pointedly. "They've never sold technology, though the opportunities were plentiful. They haven't done any kind of damage to alien species' and they haven't raided anyone."

"So you've said."

"Owen, despite what we have all been wearing and calling each other, the Maquis have adhered to Starfleet protocol, a lot more than you'd imagine."

"We've read the logs you sent us when contact was first made between Quadrants. We know exactly what the Maquis have been doing and we're not disputing that, with the exception of who led the ship home, they did the right thing under the circumstances."

Kathryn was acutely aware of the fact that he was using the pronoun 'we' and she wondered if that meant that Neychaev had changed his opinion in the ten minutes since they'd spoken last. "So, what, then? You want to persecute them for things that happened over seven years ago?"

"Kathryn..."

"What, Owen?" She sighed again. "Most of their friend and comrades are dead. They've been cut off from their cause for seven years. Isn't that punishment enough?"

"You know very well that it isn't, Captain."

The harsh reprimand from her old friend made her wince. It had been a long time since the crack of command had been directed at her - even Chakotay hadn't pulled rank, no matter the subject of their argument - and she was reminded of why she didn't like being on the receiving end.

Regardless, she sat up a little straighter. "What happens next, sir?"

"Admiral Neychaev would like you to arrest Captain Chakotay." Kathryn held her breath. "I think it's better for all involved if we hold off on that. Your orders are to proceed to land."

"Land, sir?"

"Quite a few people know about Voyager. It's quite the spectacle and everyone wants to see you come home."

She wondered how they'd spun that; A lost Starfleet vessel that is taken over by a group of Maquis who were, according to all other reports, the scum of the sector.

Interesting.

It was even more interesting that Starfleet seemingly planned to capitalize on their celebrity.

"With her rightful Captain at the helm, as it were." He finished.

Kathryn swallowed the lump in her throat. "I haven't been the Captain for seven years, Owen."

She supposed it wouldn't be good for public relations if she were in the XO chair, pregnant and seemingly defeated.

"You are now." He nodded to the pips at her throat. "And you should have been all along."

Now, after everything, Kathryn couldn't imagine what would have happened if she'd been Captain for their journey. Would the ship still have gotten home? Would things have been different altogether? Worse? What would it have done to her, as a person? She couldn't imagine the friendships she had now would have been the same. Not to mention the events of her personal life.

It seemed like some kind of nightmare, just thinking about it.

She didn't like the bad taste this conversation left in her mouth. "It takes more than pips to be a Captain."

"Then suck it up, because you are the Captain and we do expect you to bring your ship home."

She didn't have the energy to fight this battle right now and she had a lover to go and beat some sense in to. "Understood, sir."

***

"Kes to Kathryn."

Kathryn tapped her comm. badge as she headed back to her Quarters, quietly wondering if her day could get any worse than it already was. "Kathryn here."

"B'Elanna is in labour." Kes replied. "I'm on my way to sickbay now."

"How far along?"

"Not very, but a mixed breeding tends to have a quick labour."

It was hard to believe that Baby Paris would be with them soon. Regardless of the happy event, she forced herself to think like a Captain. "Who is in engineering?"

They'd taken quite a bit of damage, coming out of the aperture. The Borg Sphere that had chased them, fortunately, to their exit home, had gotten several direct hits in and repairs needed to be made before the ship was even going to attempt to limp home.

Kathryn and B'Elanna had gotten together quite a few times with the intention of sorting out the duty roster for engineering while she was on maternity leave. Most of those meetings had ended with laughter and food, though, and nothing concrete had really been set.

"Joe Carey has taken over. B'Elanna was in engineering when the contractions started and she handed out instructions before leaving for sickbay."

"And just what was she doing in engineering?" Was everyone on this ship a pigheaded fool or did she just seem to be a magnet for the crazies?

"She was checking on the engines." Kes laughed. "I know; the doctor is going to yell at her later."

"As he should. Let me know how everything goes, okay?"

"Will do. Kes out."

Everything was happening at once; getting home, B'Elanna going into labour, Chakotay being a nob. Kathryn just needed to go back to her Quarters, yell at him for a while and have a large coffee and a long soak in the tub.

Exiting the turbolift, she headed toward their Quarters with that very intention.

***

"You're an ass, you know that?"

"Kathryn."

"Don't give me that look."

"What do you want me to say?"

"How about that you're sorry?"

"Sorry for what, exactly?"

Her arms folded and her eyes hardened. "You told Owen to make an example of you to save everyone else."

"I'm the Captain." He paused and blinked. "Well, I was."

"Yeah, about that. Did you have the Doctor examine you?"

"For what?"

"Something neurological that could explain your temporary insanity."

"I hardly think it's insane when it turned out to be the right decision." He replied easily, folding his hands on the tabletop.

Kathryn sat across from him, glaring.

Part of her was mildly amazed that Starfleet had acted so quickly. She's had her call with Owen - both of them - before she'd returned to her Quarters, completely ready to rip him a new rectal orifice, when she'd found the rooms empty.

She'd had to call Owen again to find out Chakotay had been transported to an escort ship while she'd been in the Ready Room, under the orders of Neychaev, unsurprisingly. Apparently they were going to put him on trial and they weren't inclined to waste time about it.

It was only when Kathryn had demanded she be allowed to see him that they had transported her over. When she'd arrived, she'd been led to their Brig and a table with a chair either side had been set up for temporary use. Chakotay had been wearing the drab colours of sickbay, but he didn't look any worse for wear.

Of course, he might once she was finished with him.

Peripherally, she could see the guards in their Starfleet armour as they observed her, probably wondering why she was speaking to him the way she was. Kathryn didn't care.

"Chakotay, what exactly did you do?" Owen had refused to tell her the specifics of what had been said but, given her lover's current status in the Brig of the USS Melbourne, she could well infer.

"I agreed to a prison sentence to save the Maquis." He paused. "And you."

"Me?"

"Do you think they were going to simply pat you on the head and thank you for your dutiful service?" Chakotay sighed. "Neychaev seemed quite adamant that you should fry for handing your ship over. Owen knows you did what you had to do."

She wasn't as concerned with her own fate as she probably should have been. She also wasn't surprised to learn that Owen hadn't been the only Admiral Chakotay had made this deal with. Nevertheless, she wasn't going to have it. "So you're going to offer your head to the chopping block?"

"I'm doing what's right for my family." Chakotay sighed again. "Something I should have done years ago."

She knew that he meant Roshan and, even further back, Trebus. He'd always felt like he'd failed both, Kathryn knew, but this was taking guilt to the kind of extreme that even she wasn't prepared to go to.

And that was saying something.

"Chakotay, you can't just sacrifice your own life."

"I hardly think they'll execute me." He shrugged. "Of course, I'm not exactly up to date with their policy on the treatment of terrorists. They may well send me to Cardassia."

Kathryn had thought much the same when she'd first heard that he'd been apprehended and that had been the thought to fuel her anger, pushing her to badger Owen to let her see Chakotay. If anyone was going to kill him, it was going to be her, not some torturous Cardy with a score to settle. Or a blonde Admiral that needed to get laid more than anyone in the history of humanity.

"You know I won’t let them do that." She told him firmly.

Chakotay shrugged. "You won’t have much of a choice, I imagine."

"Why are you being so calm about this?"

"Because it's out of my hands."

"Out of your hands?" She repeated, mouth slightly agape. "Are you mad? Do you want them to lock you up?"

If this was his way of ending things between them then Kathryn couldn't help but think that it was just about on par in the drama stakes of how her last two serious relationships had ended. Of course, she hadn't been pregnant at the end of the other two.

"Of course I don't." Chakotay sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face. "But you seem to forget that the things they're going to try me for, I actually did."

"More than seven years ago, maybe."

"I wasn't exactly the model officer on Voyager, either."

"We still made it home, clearly you didn't do that bad a job." She deadpanned.

One of the guards spoke before he could respond. "Ma'am? I'm afraid your time is up."

Nodding without looking at the young man, Kathryn rose, giving her lover one last glare. "Don't do anything stupid, okay?"

***

As soon as she beamed back to Voyager, a sea of expectant faces greeted her.

Thirty or more - mostly former Maquis, she noted - members of the crew watched her, waiting to hear what she would have to say. News had always travelled fast on a ship of this size, but even more so whenever that news was in conjunction with one of the leaders.

"I honestly don't know what to tell you." Kathryn shrugged, watching them eyeing her uniform - full, this time, if only to appease Captain Ducat while on his ship - as they exchanged worried glances. "Chakotay is being held in the brig of the USS Melbourne."

She was fairly certain that Starfleet had been trying to keep the transfer quiet, but Kathryn hadn't received any such order and, until she did, any information she had was fair game for the crew. They deserved to know what was going on; it was their futures at stake, too.

"When will he be released?" Jor was the one to ask the question, quickly followed by a shout out from Yosa that confirmed their desire for answers.

"No one can tell me that." Kathryn sighed. "All I know so far is that Chakotay is being held and, currently, it looks as though you will all be released."

Ayala took a step forward. "You know very well that we're not asking to save our own hides."

"Yes, Mike, I do." Kathryn offered a one shoulder shrug. "I really don't know what to tell you."

"Are they going to put Chakotay on trial?"

"I think so." She admitted. "But they're going to have one hell of a fight on their hands if they do."

***

Voyager was supposed to be landing in a few hours and, as Kathryn looked out the window, she could see a small fleet of ships surrounding them, more and more being added by the hour. They weren't sure who was out there and they'd changed the view ports to negative viewing, lest images of someone wandering around in a towel in their Quarters ended up on a news feed.

After Kathryn had beamed back from the USS Melbourne, she'd spoken with the crew that had gathered, promising them that she wasn't going to let this go.

Touching a hand to her belly, she frowned. This wasn't how she imagined it would go - any of it.

It should have been a wonderful day; they were home, she was pregnant, B'Elanna was about to give birth... instead, she was sitting alone in her Quarters, reading Joe's report on the engines and the repairs. According to the PADD in her hand, they would be able to land in less than two hours.

Kathryn had, quietly, asked him to be prepared to delay that if necessary.

He hadn't said anything, just nodded in quiet understanding and told her that he wasn't going to let Chakotay fry any more than the former Maquis. She'd been touched by his words, but he had been the first of many former 'Fleeters to comm. her or come and see her to offer their words of support.

It seemed that none of them were willing to let Chakotay hang.

***

"I don't know what to do now." She admitted quietly.

Tuvok looked uncomfortable by her defeatist attitude, but Kathryn was completely at a loss.

Aside from ripping Chakotay a new asshole, she hadn't really considered how she was going to get him out of this mess. She could quietly have the ship repaired before they attempted to break him out of the Melbourne's Brig. But how far would they get now that they were in Federation Space and surrounded by people loyal to Starfleet?

It was ironic that the one place she had longed to be was the one place that was probably the least safe for half of her closest friends.

If not breaking him out, then all they could do was let Neychaev and friends do what they wanted - namely, put him on trial - and hope they could come up with a good enough defence to get him a suspended sentence. But what were the chances that they'd find a lawyer willing to battle Starfleet? No one on the ship had enough training to do it.

Beyond that, she had no idea what to do.

"The situation does appear to be quite difficult." Tuvok finally responded, breaking her thoughts.

She huffed. "No kidding."

"I would not be inclined to joke about such matters."

"I know that you..." She observed his raised eyebrow and huffed again, "very funny, Tuvok."

"Indeed." He cocked his head to the side for a moment. "What does Chakotay suggest?"

"He thinks we should let Starfleet do their worst." She rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to add a few choice words about him. Or his whole gender in general.

"That does not seem to be a wise course of action."

Kathryn nodded and clucked her tongue. "That's pretty much what I said."

They were both silent for a moment, each lost in thought, before Tuvok offered the Vulcan equivalent of a sigh and spoke again, "I regret that I do not have an answer."

"Me too, old friend." She sighed, looking out the view port of the Ready Room. "Me too."

***

She wasn't sure whether to hit someone or cry when, a few hours after her fruitless conversation with Tuvok, Owen told her that they were to land. They couldn't put it off any longer.

If Chakotay hadn't been in proverbial chains, she would have been amused at the irony of her, of all people, being so vehemently against the docking clamps touching Earth's soil.

Voyager sailed over the Golden Gate Bridge, fireworks going off around them. The Bridge was, once again, silent. It would have been protocol for them all to issue orders and confirm the landing gears' status, but no one bothered. No one wore the Starfleet uniform, either, and Kathryn couldn't help but wonder what tomorrow's headlines would read when a bunch of miss-fits stepped off the ship in leathers.

She would find out soon enough.

Tom sat at the helm and even he didn't offer any kind of comment to break the deafening silence that they'd all fallen into. Today was a double edged sword for the Paris/Torres clan; Baby Miral had been welcomed into the world little less than an hour ago, but her Godfather hadn't been there to greet her. The bittersweet moment had hit Kathryn two-fold; what if Chakotay wasn't there to see their own child being born?

Forcing herself not to think of him, still in orbit on the Melbourne, Kathryn snapped back to reality when she heard Tuvok announce that their landing had been successful and the ship's systems were finally, after seven years, being shut down.

Panels and consoles began to flicker off and they each stood from their chairs - Kathryn remaining in the XO spot, despite her orders - and headed to the turbolift.

The silence continued as they made their way to exit the ship. Kathryn wasn't surprised when more crewmen began to join the ten bridge officers and they, too, remained quiet.

Everyone was silent and, when they could begin to hear the noise of the gathered people, it was a shock to hear the screams and cries of loved ones that stood, waiting for their friends and families to finally be home again, within arms-reach.

Kathryn could see her mother and Phoebe standing by Owen. It was everything she'd wanted to see, save for the other Admiral than flanked his left-hand side.

Neychaev had a false smile plastered on her face but Kathryn thought that it was more for the media as opposed to the people walking down the ramp that extended from Voyager's belly. She led the group, B'Elanna and the newborn tucked into the centre, protected from any potential threat, even though they should have been safe, now. Tuvok stood beside her, but she should have felt Chakotay on her right, as always.

She walked fearlessly down the ramp, her hair blowing out behind her, until she was in her mother's arms and she was biting back tears of happiness and regret.

People were still crying and cheering, but she didn't hear any of it. Instead, she heard her mother whisper that she was home and one tear leaked out of her eyes before she cursed her brimming hormones and told herself to pull it together. Pulling back from the embrace, she hugged her sister.

It was all a blur and, later, safe in her childhood home with a blanket wrapped tight around her and a steaming cup of coffee in hand, Kathryn couldn't remember a damn thing about the events of the day.

Owen had shaken her hand and given her a quick, very professional, pat on the back. Neychaev had welcomed her back to Starfleet - not Earth, not home, Starfleet - before she'd advised her that the crew were to report to Headquarters at 0900 the next day. Until then, they were free, but not to leave the planet.

Kathryn thought it quite likely that some - about thirty-seven, to be exact - of their crew had been followed, wherever they had gone.

She'd made sure that everyone had someone to go home with, before she'd found Chakotay's sister and brought her back to Indiana. Rayen had been overwhelmed by what was going on. Starfleet had told her that her brother would not be with the landing party, but they hadn't elaborated. Kathryn had been left to relay the news of his arrest and the trial that was expected.

Rayen had taken it as well as could be expected. Kathryn knew that the poor girl had suffered - she'd been in their village when the Cardassians had first attacked - and this wasn't what she needed. Regardless, she'd been warm and friendly towards Kathryn and her family, but she'd retired earlier, citing tiredness.

Kathryn hadn't blamed her for bowing out not long after dinner. Once they'd eaten - and food had never tasted that good - her mother and Phoebe had cleared away the mess, instructing Kathryn to relax. She'd taken up residence on the porch swing with her blanket and coffee pot a few hours ago and hadn't moved since.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this." Kathryn finally spoke, initiating the conversation quietly.

Her mother had come out almost forty minutes ago, but the older woman hadn't said a word. She'd stared out at the stars, following Kathryn's line of sight and trying to understand what her daughter saw.

Kathryn was grateful for the silence, but her mind was running a million miles an hour and she wasn't sure she could keep her thoughts to herself anymore. For years, she'd missed her mother's council. Now it was within reach and she wasn't going to let the moment pass.

"I'm pregnant."

"What?" Gretchen turned then, eyeing her daughter. "That's wonderful."

Kathryn couldn't argue that one anymore. "It really is."

"How far along are you?"

"Three months." To the day, now.

She couldn't help but think, again, that Chakotay should have been here for this. He should have been here to celebrate it with her, not God-knows-where. No one had been willing to tell her if he was still on the Melbourne or not. She'd called everyone she knew - twice - and pulled in every favour she could, but it had all been fruitless and there was no one else she could ask.

"I gather Chakotay is..."

"Yes." Blinking back tears, she turned to look at her mother, glad that the face before her was a real and not another dream of things she missed. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

Strangely, now that she'd started to speak, she found that she couldn't stop. She told her mother about everything; Roshan, the miscarriage, the years of wasted time between her and Chakotay, Kashyk - though that story had been slightly edited for things a mother shouldn't hear - and finding out that she was pregnant before her counterpart had shown up.

Kathryn told her mother about the good time and the bad times. She told her about Tom and B'Elanna and their strange wedding and, now, new baby. She told her about Kes and Harry, who were now at his parents place. She told her about Ayala and his boys, and how she couldn't remember much about today, but she did remember the father hugging his children again. She told her about the parties they'd had, the people they'd met, the things they'd seen and done.

When she was finished, some hours later, her throat parched from so many words, Kathryn stopped talking and shrugged.

"I'm not sure there's much that I can say to all of that." Gretchen admitted after a moment. "You've had quite the adventure."

"That's one way to look at it."

"What happens now?"

Kathryn knew her mother wasn't asking if she was going to bed or not. "I think it depends on what happens tomorrow. We have to report to Starfleet in the morning and I suppose we'll know then."

"I guess that means you won’t be sleeping tonight, huh?"

Her mother knew her far too well. "Probably not."

Gretchen nodded before she moved closer to her daughter on the seat, spreading the blanket out to cover them both. "Pass me a cup, dear."

***

The next morning, Kathryn stood before a panel of Admirals as they eyed her silently.

Despite her resolve to think the night away, she had dozed off for a few hours, waking with her head in her mother's lap. The older woman hadn't slept, Kathryn suspected, but she hadn't said anything.

When they'd risen, at Phoebe’s waking, Kathryn had showered and found herself in full Starfleet attire once more. She'd observed herself in the mirror, convinced she could see something now, before pulling her hair into a braid. It wasn't regulation and they wouldn't like it, but she didn't much care what they thought anymore.

After she'd said goodbye to her mother, Phoebe and Rayen, Kathryn had beamed to Headquarters and been immediately brought to stand before the panel. They had been silently examining her for almost five minutes and Kathryn knew that they were doing it to put her off-balance. Ignoring their attempts, she stared right back and waited for one of them to speak.

Owen was the first to address her. "Captain Janeway."

"Sir." She took a deep breath. "If I may ask... Chakotay?"

"He's being interviewed as we speak."

Neychaev took over before she could reply. "Captain, let's get down to business. We've reviewed the logs that you sent through to us over a year ago. We know what's been going on aboard Voyager."

Kathryn didn't bother rising to the bait.

She remained silent and composed as Neychaev began to run through a list of her 'mistakes' from the last seven years. She started with the Caretaker's array and managed to cover everything - The Void, Kashyk, Roshan, the crew and so much more - in the space of half an hour, giving a disapproving look at each 'charge' she read, but not adding comment.

Her dispassionate voice droned on and on and Kathryn wondered if she'd have any kind of self-esteem left at the end of it all.

"...with all of that in mind, added to that list is the recent events with your future self, we have no choice but to take action. Your behaviour cannot be left unpunished and you are hereby dishonourably discharged from Starfleet for your affiliation with terrorists."

She wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to react. Part of her wanted to cry, part wanted to scream, part wanted nothing more than to high-tail it back to the Delta Quadrant so she could hide with her family. Neelix would have taken them all in. Only a small part of her wanted to fight for her career. After all, it might have been all she had left at this point.

Instead, Kathryn simply nodded, not really feeling much of anything, her mind and body numb, save for one thought. "What happens to the crew?"

"The Starfleet officers will be spoken to, in turn."

"They were following my orders when they worked with the Maquis. They were diligent officers the entire time we were out there."

The memory of ordering her crew to fall into the new command structure hit her in a rush and Kathryn couldn't help but catch a breath.

"I reached an agreement with Chakotay that would see Voyager with an appropriate crew and would give us all a much better chance of getting home."

"What does that mean, Ma'am?"

Poor Harry Kim hadn't looked quite so pale since she'd met him, Kathryn thought. Stop stalling and get on with it. "This is no longer a Starfleet Vessel."

"What?"

She couldn't be sure who asked the question since several mouths all moved at once.

"Chakotay is now the Captain of Voyager." She continued. "We will all answer to him and that includes me."

"But... Captain!"

"Kathryn." She corrected. "We're operating on a first name basis now, Harry."

Shaking herself of the memory, Kathryn wondered at the silence of Owen and the three other Admirals on the panel - Hayes and two others she didn't recognize - but she didn't bother to comment. What could they have said, anyway?

Neychaev eyed her. "The Starfleet crew will not be punished, if that's what you're implying."

"And the former Maquis?"

"It's not your place to ask that question, Ms. Janeway."

She wondered what the harm could be in adding a 'fuck you, swine' or something similar, but she didn't need the grief and it wouldn't serve Chakotay or their former crew any good. "Understood."

"You're dismissed."

Turning, Kathryn Janeway, civilian, dropped her pips on the floor and left.

***

That night, she found herself in the same position as the night before; on the swing with a blanket and a pot of coffee, her mother for company once more.

"What are you going to do now?" Gretchen asked.

"I have no idea." Kathryn replied. "I need to see Chakotay, but they're not going to let me do that until I find him a lawyer."

"Starfleet should be paying for it." Gretchen sneered.

Kathryn laughed and patted her mother’s hand. "I don't want anyone on their payroll going in to bat for Chakotay."

"Point taken." Gretchen conceded. "I'll help you look for someone tomorrow."

"Thanks, mom."

"More immediately, though, do you want something for dinner?"

Kathryn shrugged. "I'm not really hungry."

"Well then, how about I just feed my grandchild?"

Her mother was more stubborn than she was - which was quite an impressive trait - and Kathryn wasn't going to bother trying to fight it. "Sounds good."

"I knew you'd see it my way."

***

"How are they treating you?"

Chakotay smiled softly. "I'm fine, Kathryn."

It was odd to be sitting with him like this again, opposite sides of a table, with nothing even close to privacy. Two guards stood by the door, watching them talk, no doubt listening with keen ears for whatever they could report back to Neychaev.

Kathryn ignored them. It had been a week since she'd seen Chakotay. Even after they'd found him a lawyer, Starfleet had still dragged their heels in giving Kathryn access. They'd only given her ten minutes today simply because they were sick of her pestering, she thought.

"Owen said you were being interviewed."

"I was being tried." Chakotay corrected. "Let's just say it didn't go well."

"What? You only got a lawyer five days ago."

"I waived my right to a lawyer."

"You did what?" Apparently his bout of insanity hadn't been temporary. "Why in the world would you do that?"

"Because I didn't want this to drag on. Not now, especially since... everything."

She saw the gaze he flicked to her stomach and part of her wished she'd never told him. "When do you get your verdict?"

"I already have."

He was still being held in Starfleet Headquarters, so she didn't really need to ask what the decision had been. It was just a question of time, now. "How long?"

"Fifteen years."

God. Her stomach went south for her shoes, sending the contents upwards. For a horrifying moment, she thought she was going to vomit all over the table. It would have been fitting. "Chakotay..."

He didn't look at her. "Don't wait, okay?"

"Don't be an idiot." She snapped, forcing back the tears that stung her eyes. "We'll figure this out."

"Kathryn, I'm going to jail. There's nothing to figure out." He finally met her eyes and offered her a small smile. "Try and be happy."

The guard took a step forward and she nodded before he could speak. Her time was up. There was no way in hell she was going to say goodbye to him. "I'll see you soon."

***

Kathryn held little Miral in her arms, careful of her delicate head as the baby wiggled in her sleep. "She's adorable."

"I'm pretty fond of her." B'Elanna admitted with a smile. "This is good practise for you. Brush up on those skills again."

Kathryn had told her when she'd first arrived. B'Elanna had screamed with delight - which had woken Miral and then she'd wanted to scream in frustration - before Kathryn had told her about Chakotay's sentence. She'd reacted much like Kathryn had - shocked numbness. It had only been Miral's continued fussing that had given them both a mild distraction and Kathryn had wished with everything in her that rocking the infant to sleep would distract her from what was really happening.

Now that the infant was quiet, though, they both had to face the facts.

"I don't know what to do now." Kathryn finally admitted. "We can't appeal until he's been in for a year. He told me to be happy and not to wait. Idiot."

"Try not to worry."

"How can I not worry?" She shrugged.

"We'll figure something out." B'Elanna assured her. Then she frowned, "I don't quite know what, yet, but we will."

***

"I saw the Doctor the other day."

Chakotay sighed. She knew that he wasn't happy that she'd come here, but she wasn't about to abandon him, foolish though it might be. He sat staring at her, silent, for a few long moments, before he gave up the pretence of being angry with her. "Is everything okay?"

"Perfect. He showed me a holoimage of the baby." The whole world - hell, the whole sector - knew now, so there was no use in hiding it. The media had loved the story and pictures of Kathryn had been widely circulated. They'd shown one from Chakotay's Starfleet profile.

"Do we know the sex?"

"We're having a girl."

It was all so wrong, sharing this kind of news in a holding cell. They'd been home two weeks now and, in that time, Kathryn had found herself unemployed and facing single parenthood while Chakotay served fifteen years. He would be eligible for parole in twelve, but it was still a lifetime away.

Her mother had gone with her to the scan. Voyager’s EMH had been allowed to keep his mobile emitter - though Kathryn didn't quite know how they'd swung that one - and she got to keep her old friend for her Doctor.

So far, she'd spent her days with Chakotay's lawyer, trying to fight the charges. Of course, terrorism was a hard one to fight, all things considered.

Tuvok had returned to Vulcan to treat his illness but, before he'd gone, he'd apologized to Kathryn for his testimony. Much as she had wanted to, she couldn't blame her old friend for telling the truth. All of the crew - even the Maquis - had been 'interviewed' and asked a series of questions, mostly circled around the leadership on Voyager. It had all happened after Chakotay's trial though, so Kathryn knew that Starfleet hadn't much cared what the crew said; the interviews had been a formality to keep the media happy.

She hadn't been called for one.

"Kathryn, I'm being transferred."

"Where?"

"New Zealand." He looked down at the tabletop. "Maybe I'll get Tom's old cell."

"I'm only a transport away." She could be there with only a few moments notice.

"I don't think you should do that." He sighed and met her eyes again. "I meant what I said last week, you should move on. Try and be happy."

"Chakotay, why won’t you fight this?"

"Because, if I do, the Maquis will all be tried for terrorism and war crimes. Tom will go back to jail and you'll be reinstated to Starfleet so you can be tried as well. They'll slaughter us and ruin our lives." He gave her an ironic grin, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

He'd never come right out and said it before, but Kathryn had known that would have been the deal that had been worked out. Chakotay was an honourable man and he wouldn't let his crew fry when he could protect them, not to mention his unborn child.

She supposed that, even with the guards listening in, it didn't much matter what they said. And, if he was being moved, he'd probably be safer. The more distance between him and Neychaev and the stick permanently up her ass, the better. "When are they moving you?"

"Next week."

"I'll see you in New Zealand, then."

***

Kathryn rang the chime on the door in front of her, surprised to see Kes answer, wearing an apron.

"Cooking?" Kathryn grimaced.

"Trying to." Kes flushed. "Neelix tried to teach me, but I'm not sure how much I picked up."

Kathryn couldn't help but think that might be a good thing. "I brought wine for you." She held out the bottle. "And sparkling cider for me."

"Come in."

Kathryn followed her through the house that she and Harry had purchased a month after they'd returned. It was a modern home, full of all the latest technological developments. There was Delta Quadrant artwork all around and Kathryn thought it suited the young couple.

Following Kes into the kitchen, Kathryn sat at the breakfast bar while Kes continued to chop vegetables. "So tell me what you're doing now?"

"I'm working at the local hospital." Kes replied. "I have to take exams before I'm fully qualified by Earth standards, though."

"Is the Doctor helping you study?"

"Three nights a week." Kes smiled, the wrinkles at the corner of her eyes creasing. "What about you?"

"I'm not doing much of anything." Kathryn admitted.

They'd been home two months now and she'd spent most of her time trying to find somewhere for her and the baby to live. Her mother had offered, so had Phoebe, but Kathryn hadn't wanted that. She'd hunted for a few weeks before finding a nice three bedroom home on the outskirts of the city. She was close enough that she'd be able to work, but far enough away that she felt like no one would bother with her. Rayen had left Earth almost a month ago, promising to stay in touch and come back regularly.

Thankfully, the media attention had died down quietly. Starfleet had 'counselled' all of the Starfleet officers and then watched, stunned, as each one had resigned, one after another. Every single person from Voyager had left voluntarily - save for Kathryn, who'd been told to leave. The Maquis, though not being tried, had been 'politely' advised to keep their lives quiet. Most, if not all, had found somewhere to live and tried to fit into the mainstream of monotony. Some had left Earth, but for the most part they'd all stayed close and Kathryn knew that she wasn't Chakotay’s only visitor each week.

Two days a week she transported to the New Zealand Penal Colony. She was only allowed to stay for thirty minutes at a time and never alone, but it was worth the effort. Every visit, Chakotay insisted that she not wait, that she find happiness. Every visit, she called him an idiot and told him she'd see him next time.

Aside from her trips to the prison, Kathryn spent most of her time finding furniture and whatnot to fill the house. She was planning the nursery and, last visit, she'd forced Chakotay to help her pick a stencil for the walls. He couldn't be there, but she'd be damned if he wouldn't be involved.

Her belly had seemingly grown overnight. While, for the first three months, it had been impossible to visually tell that she was pregnant, now, it was more than obvious. She was amused that her stomach entered the room before she did, but she enjoyed it nevertheless. Aside from the swollen ankles, that was.

"How's Chakotay?" Kes continued chopping carrots as she asked.

"He's good." Everyone always asked about him. No one thought the sentence was fair and they were going to keep quietly supporting them the only way they could. "Where's Harry?"

"Running late. He got caught up at work."

Harry had found himself an orchestra and fallen - almost literally - into a job. He did consulting work with engineering companies on the side but, for the most part, was now an official 'muso' as Tom had said.

Life had gone on. It had to.

Despite everything that had happened, and was still happening, the crew had been forced to continue on with what was left of their lives. They'd had to pick up and start again, a lot of them.

Kathryn tried not to think about it too much. She was content to take one day at a time, as it were, and try and make the best of a bad situation. The crew was trying to support each other and it was dinners like the one that Kathryn was attending tonight that made it mildly bearable.

She was going to spend the evening with four of her closest friends and she was hoping it would make the hurt ease, just a little, just for a while.

***

When Kathryn tapped her console to bring up her messages, she was surprised when Owen's face was the first to greet her. He mentioned something about needing her help and asked her to call.

She flicked her gaze to the clock and decided that, despite the late hour, her old mentor probably wouldn't mind. It was the first time she'd had contact with him in the two months they'd been home. Kathryn suspected that Owen felt guilty for the way things had turned out - Tom had told her as much at dinner, earlier in the evening. She admitted to resentment on her part.

The call connected and Kathryn offered a tentative smile in greeting. "Owen."

"Kathryn, thank you for calling back." He sighed. "I’m sorry I haven't been in touch."

She shrugged. "Not everyone has as much free time as I do."

"I'm sorry about that, too."

"I'm sure." She wanted to add a bitter comment about his lack of participation in fighting for her, but there was little point now. "How can I help you?"

"It's an official call." He warned and she nodded. "We've been going through Voyager with the proverbial fine-toothed comb."

She knew; B'Elanna had made several comments about what Starfleet was doing to Voyager. The young woman only knew what she heard or saw from Owen, so Kathryn didn't like to imagine what she'd say if she could actually see the 'inspections' taking place.

"We've now begun to extract the upgrades you installed over the years. We're hoping that they can be implemented into other ships in the fleet." He looked impressed. "You found some wonderful things out there, didn't you?"

"Chakotay did." Kathryn corrected.

Owen had the grace to flush slightly, before he refused to meet her eyes. "I wish it hadn't worked out this way."

So did everyone else.

But Kathryn didn't want to lament her lover's prison sentence with a man that could have fought to keep him from there. "What do you want, Owen?"

"I need the codes to the ship's armour and transphasic torpedoes."

Kathryn gave him a blank look. "Code?"

"The technology is encrypted. Heavily encrypted."

She shrugged. "Don't look at me."

"You were the XO of the ship."

"Doesn't mean I knew everything."

"Kathryn, refusal to cooperate won’t help anyone, especially Chakotay."

She did not have to take that tone from him anymore. Her heckles were up and he was going to know about it. "Owen, bash it up your ass. I don't know what you're talking about and you know what? Even if I did, I wouldn't be helping Starfleet. I'd appreciate it if you didn't contact me again." She terminated the call, wondering what the hell he'd been talking about.

And if it meant anything for Chakotay.

***

An hour later, she was no closer to letting it go. Her mind had been racing since she'd spoken with Owen and she'd come up with a shortlist of candidates that were likely to have been involved.

There were only two people on the ship that could have heavily encrypted something to the point where even Starfleet and all of their experts couldn't crack it. She called B'Elanna first, but only because Seven was visiting Tuvok on Vulcan.

"What did you do?"

B'Elanna eyed her. "What?"

"Owen just called me."

"I thought you said you hadn't spoken to him in months?"

"I hadn't." She shrugged. "He left me a message while we were having dinner at Kes and Harry's."

"What did he want?" The question was more of a growl than anything else.

B'Elanna didn't have a lot of love lost for her father in law. He'd put - well, helped to put - her big brother in jail, and the godfather of her child. Not to mention that he'd been partly responsible for her best friend facing single parenthood.

"He wanted the codes to the armour and the transphasic torpedos we installed from the Admiral." Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?"

"Don't ask me that."

She frowned. "B'Elanna?"

"Don't." The other woman shook her head. "I'll call you soon, when I can, okay?"

"What-" The call was disconnected.

Kathryn frowned at the screen for a moment, wondering if she would have any more luck getting information from Seven. Anything was worth a shot at this point and she put the call in.

The young blonde's face appeared onscreen a moment later. "Kathryn."

"Hello, Seven. How are you?"

The Borg might hate small talk, but Seven had learnt. "Well. Yourself?"

"Getting there." She offered a small smile. "I'm sorry to bother you so late, but I just had an odd call and I was wondering if you could shed some light on the-"

"Kathryn." Seven cut her off. "Please wait one moment."

The screen went black and Kathryn frowned as she waited. A few moments later, Seven re-appeared.

"I am unable to speak with you at present. I will contact you soon."

For the second time that night, her call was terminated.

Frowning, Kathryn wondered who else she could contact. Harry wouldn't be of help - even if he did know anything, he was far more frightened of B'Elanna than Kathryn, especially at five months pregnant - and Tom would stick up for his wife, if he knew anything.

She ran through a mental list of the people that could be involved and came up with just about nothing. She remembered a time, a few years back, when she'd felt like B'Elanna and Chakotay had been keeping something from her and she'd hated it then, too. But a lot had happened since then. As much as she hated not knowing, she was certain that B'Elanna would fill her in when she could.

Telling herself that patience was a virtue, Kathryn moved about her nightly routine and tried not to let a seed of hope sprout.

***

Owen was on her doorstep when she woke the next morning. He held a PADD and when Kathryn answered the door, still rubbing sleep from her eyes, he thrust it into her hands.

"Take a look."

"What?" Kathryn yawned, very aware of the fact that she'd answered the door in her bathrobe. "What are you doing here?"

"These are the reports on Voyager's upgraded technology."

She sighed. "Owen, I told you, I don't know what this is about." He remained silent and Kathryn quickly skimmed the report in her hand, before her eyes focussed on one paragraph and she read the words a few times before she frowned and looked at the man on her doorstep. "Does this say what I think it says?"

"If you think it says that Voyager will explode if we attempt to extract the technology without the codes, then yes." Owen gave her a stern look. "Make no mistake, Kathryn, we need this. The Federation will always have enemies and this technology could go a long way to keeping peace."

Kathryn wondered if Starfleet had ever bothered to consider why they always had enemies. She didn't point that out, though. "Owen, I honestly didn't know about this. I can't help you."

"But I suppose you know who can?"

She could guess - she'd pretty much had conformation from both of her 'guesses' - but she'd be damned if she'd be helping Starfleet any time soon. "No, I don't." Handing the PADD back, she offered a tight smile. "If you'll excuse me, I have things to do. Goodbye."

***

Kathryn waited in the small room the guards had led her to.

She'd been to the New Zealand Penal Colony a few times and it always made her think of that first time, almost eight years ago. And how different things were now.

Last time, she'd been there in order to obtain the services of Tom. And she'd had to fight tooth and nail to receive authorization, too. But it had been worth it. It had all been worth it.

Except maybe coming home.

Chakotay entered, wearing the standard issue grey inmate uniform. He sat across from her and eyed her seriously. "I thought I told you not to come?"

"I thought I told you not to be an idiot?"

"Kathryn."

She blinked calmly. "Chakotay."

He relented first. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. The Doctor is very pleased with the progress of the pregnancy." She nodded to the guards. "Will they let you feel her kicking?"

Chakotay made eye contact with one of the men and, after receiving a nod, he stood and reached across the table to feel her stomach. Kathryn didn't move when his hand was on her, mindful of the close eyes of the guards, but she watched his face light up when he felt their daughter kick.

She'd bawled like a three year old the first time it had happened. It had been one of the most profound moments of her life and she'd been alone. The bathtub hadn't eased the pain of Chakotay's absence and she was glad that he was getting the experience now, if not when he should have.

When the kicking stopped, he sat back and couldn't keep the grin from his face. "That's pretty impressive."

"Isn't it?"

"Does it hurt?"

"Not as much as you'd think." He nodded and she took a deep breath. "So, I had a very strange visit from Owen the other day."

"I'm sure he misses your friendship." Chakotay looked uncomfortable. "The time is almost up, I should go."

"But-"

He looked at her sadly. "Don't come back, Kathryn."

He said it every time. She understood his reservations about her visiting him - and he'd been extremely against her ever bringing their child here - but she wasn't going to walk away from him. Not now.

She nodded. "I'll see you in three days."

***

Neither B'Elanna nor Seven were taking her calls.

It had been a week since Owen had first called her about the mysterious codes that seemed to be plaguing Starfleet. Kathryn knew it was a serious matter - especially given the information Owen had shown her - but she couldn't help but be a little bit grateful towards anything that was considered to be a pain in her ex-bosses' collective ass.

She'd contacted as many people as she could from Voyager, but they were all as clueless as she was, or they were damn good actors and too tight-lipped to reveal anything.

Either way, she had no idea what was going on and the cryptic message B'Elanna had finally left her hadn't given many clues. It had been written, an oddity in itself, and simply asked her to be at their house at three.

A few moments before the hour, she found herself on their doorstep, ringing the bell nervously. She didn't know what the hell was going on but she wasn't going to leave until she got an answer.

Tom answered, smiling. "How are you?"

"I'll be better when I know what your wife is up to."

He didn't comment. "Come on in. I've put a coffee in the living room for you, B'Elanna will be down when Miral has settled."

Kathryn felt ridiculously like a lamb being led to the slaughter, but she followed him into the home that they'd created. She found a place to sit on the sofa and glanced around at all of the twentieth century objects that littered the room.

Tom disappeared back into the kitchen, but she didn't have to wait long before she had company.

"Kathryn."

She looked at her friend, wondering how she should be feeling right about now, and came up with nothing but nausea. "Nice to finally hear from you."

"Sorry about that." The other woman had the grace to flush. "You'll thank me for it, though."

"Let me be the judge of that."

B'Elanna handed her a PADD and Kathryn read the contents twice. She wasn't quite sure she understood what she was reading and she looked at her friend, confusion marring her features. "Let me get this right, Chakotay is in jail for terrorism and you turned Voyager into a bomb?"

B'Elanna shrugged a little. "Pretty much."

It pretty much just confirmed the charges Starfleet had smacked him with. “How was that likely to help?”

“I-“

She didn’t let her continue. "There are so many ways that this could have backfired." Kathryn couldn't quite imagine what had possessed her friend to do something like this. It was far too risky. She had visions of Voyager exploding after they'd landed, taking hundreds of thousands with her. It could have exploded in the Transwarp hub and lord only knew what would have happened then. "What in the world made you do it?"

"I ordered her to."

Kathryn was fairly certain that her heart stopped when he spoke.

She watched him enter the room, but her throat was far too dry to speak. He looked good, but it had only been a few days since she'd seen him. Then, he'd simply brushed off her concerns for B'Elanna's involvement in the predicament that Owen had brought to her attention.

She stood on shaky legs, watching him walk toward her until they were just a few inches apart - mostly thanks to her belly.

It was the closest they'd been in two and a half months. "Are you a fugitive?"

"No, Starfleet released me."

"Why?"

"Because they wanted the codes."

The penny dropped. "You planned it."

"Yes."

"From the beginning?"

"No. I didn't exactly bank on your counterpart bearing technology being our ticket home." He shrugged. "It worked out well, though."

She wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry or hit someone or throw something. She thought that she should have been happier to see him - and she really, really was - but there were too many questions to be answered before she would be able to celebrate. "So you came up with this when the Admiral showed up?"

"Not me."

"B'Elanna?"

"No."

"Seven?"

He gave her a look. "The Admiral."

"Me?"

"Well... sort of, yes."

"I ordered you to turn Voyager into a bomb?" There couldn't possibly be a version of her that was willing to take that kind of chance. She would have self-destructed the ship in a heartbeat, if it had been necessary, but simply turning the vessel into a death sentence for Earth? Not her style.

Chakotay smiled, softly. "No, she told us to have something up our sleeves for when we got home."

"And turning the ship into a bomb was the best you could come up with?"

"It wasn't really a bomb." B'Elanna finally spoke again. "The readings Voyager gave out would have been enough to convince Starfleet that the ship would explode if they tried to extract the technology."

"And what would have actually happened?"

"A Borg virus would have infected the armour and torpedoes. They would have been useless, but the ship would have been fine. Nothing else would have been affected. You can thank Seven for the virus." She explained.

The frown remained on Kathryn's face. "You took a big risk."

"We couldn't trust Starfleet." B'Elanna growled, low in her throat. "And we were right."

Kathryn turned her attention back to Chakotay. "Why didn't you tell me?" Come to think of it, why hadn't ‘she’ told 'herself'?

"We didn't know that Starfleet were going to discharge you." Chakotay took her hand. "I didn't want you to have to lie to them for us."

"I would have." She replied automatically, staring at their joined hands. The warmth of his skin didn't quite seem real. None of this did.

"I know."

“So you gave them the codes, I take it?” She addressed B’Elanna but her eyes didn’t leave Chakotay’s face.

“Yes.”

“Now that they have what they want, what makes you so sure they wont revoke the Maquis pardons and throw you all in jail?”

Before they’d reached Earth, she wouldn’t have considered that a possibility. But a lot had changed in the organization she’d once blindingly put her faith in and Kathryn wasn’t going to rule anything out. She knew damn well what they were capable of.

Chakotay answered, “There’s a written agreement that states that the Maquis will be left alone for good. All of us.”

"Do you really think a PADD with a promise would stop Neychaev?"

"It'll have to," Chakotay shrugged, "The President of the Federation signed it."

Wow. "How are they going to save face with the media?"

The media attention surrounding Voyager had been huge, but it had died off quickly. They'd all been celebrities for a month, with reporters watching their every move, before the interest had weaned.

Starfleet had released a statement about the imprisonment of the leader of the Maquis leader. Kathryn had read the reports - and they had cited that he was still a dangerous criminal and the prison sentence was in everyone's best interest - and dismissed them for the fear fodder that they were. How were they going to take that back?

Chakotay, for his part, simply shrugged. "Not my problem."

"What happens now, then?"

"Now, we get to have a life together."

***

Kathryn watched him look around her - their - house quietly. They'd left B'Elanna and Tom's house and gone straight home. It was too hard to believe that Starfleet weren't going to knock on the door and demand he go back. She felt like she was almost holding her breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Chakotay examined the furniture and knick-knacks with a soft smile. "It's very you."

"It's supposed to be very us." She'd tried to put a mix of both of their tastes throughout the house.

He shrugged one shoulder. "This is kind of weird, isn't it?"

"The house?"

"The homecoming."

Now that he mentioned it... "Yeah."

"It's... a bit of a let down."

Kathryn didn't take it personally; she felt much the same way. Every night for the last few months, she'd gone to sleep imagining what it would be like when he was released.

She'd had hope that it wouldn't be fifteen years before she could have a moment alone with him, but she'd been prepared for it. She'd imagined a big surprise party to welcome him home, with all of the Voyager crew there. She'd imagined that he would rush to her and hug her and spin her. They'd laugh and cry and kiss and just be.

She hadn't imagined that she'd still be pregnant when he returned home - which pretty much ruled out any kind of heavy-duty spinning - and she hadn't imagined that she would find out about it last.

"I love you." She told him, moving over to where he stood, by their sofa. "And we'll figure it out."

"We will." He kissed her softly. "And I love you, too."

He kissed her again, then, the way she'd imagine. It was slow and sweet and it started a rush of desire humming through her body. His hands started cupping her cheeks, before they moved down over her shoulder to trace the outline of her expanding body. Kathryn shuddered as he sucked on her bottom lip and skimmed past her breasts.

When they parted, he smiled. "What are we going to do now?"

"Well..." She raised an eyebrow and smiled back at him, slowly.

"Not quite what I meant." He looked her over once, quickly. "But a very acceptable solution." Chakotay kissed the tip of her nose. "I was asking about the future."

She grasped his hand tightly. "They're really not going to take you away again?"

"They're really not."

"Then I guess... it's time to have that life you mentioned."

"Kathryn, it's not going to be easy." He gave her a wry smile. "I don't exactly have a great resume right now."

"Starfleet paid me." She shrugged at his surprised look. "I didn't bother to ask why. We'll be okay for a while, before we really have to worry."

"Okay. That's one question answered, then."

"What's the next one?" She gestured to the sofa and they sat close together, hands still clasped.

"Do you want to live on Earth or go into space? Or live somewhere else."

"I want to live with you and our daughter, I don't care where that is." She shrugged. "I also want a dog."

"A dog?"

"Named Carlos."

He gave her a strange look. "Are you serious?"

"Naomi suggested it. I can't let my goddaughter down, now, can I?" The little girl had mentioned it in her last call to Kathryn, a few days before.

She was currently living on Earth with Sam and Mike - who were planning to marry later in the year - while they got to know Mike's children. Apparently the family didn't have a lot of future plans as yet, but Naomi had, very officially, promised to keep Kathryn updated.

Chakotay laughed a little and it broke her thoughts. "We can get a dog."

"Excellent." Kathryn smiled at him, holding onto his hand tightly, her other hand resting on her protruding stomach. "Now, how do you feel about the name Maia?"

***

End