Title: Simple Liberties – Season 2
Author: Ky (venom69)
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Rating: Mature People
Summary: What if Chakotay had said no?
Character/Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay
Spoilers: None… the show’s ended!
Warnings: Language, sexual situations.
Prompt Number for fic101: 63 - Looking Back
Author’s Notes: Song belongs to Elton John. Part 3 of the Simple Liberties series.
Disclaimer: Usual guff. Not mine, promise to put them back where I found them.
Date: 25/01/07

***

There's a rhyme and reason
To the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager
Beats in time with yours


***

"Kathryn Janeway's personal log. Stardate 48975.1. It's been an interesting few days here. We've discovered a group of people that the natives call the 37's and among that group is the famous Amelia Earhart. Meeting her has been rather amazing; I always admired her as a child and I felt connected to her, somehow."

Sighing, she flopped down onto the sofa.

"We offered the 37's a place on Voyager, but they want to stay on this world. In turn, all of the crew have been offered the chance to stay as well. We're to go to the cargo bay at fifteen hundred hours and see who wishes to remain behind."

Scrubbing her hands over her face, Kathryn continued.

"Part of me was tempted. I have a lot in the Alpha Quadrant waiting for me, I have a lot on Voyager, but... the temptation was there. I wont go, though, I can't. My crew need me."

She growled in frustration. "Computer, delete last sentence."

A beep acknowledged her order and she tried again.

"Our journey is well over a year old now and the novelty has worn off, but I can't imagine being anywhere else, or under any other circumstances. Sometimes I see the decisions that Chakotay has to make and I wonder if I would have had the strength to come to the same conclusions. Against my own desire, I've come to respect and greatly admire him as a Captain and I couldn't imagine leaving. Looking back, I think we made the right deal when we did."

Nodding to herself, she breathed out.

"Computer, end log."

Picking up the cup of coffee on her table, Kathryn took a sip and grimaced at the cold liquid.

Her chime rang and Chakotay entered. “Ready?”

Kathryn nodded and they began the journey towards the cargo bay together.

“Do you think anyone will go?” She asked quietly.

They may have been his crew, but the idea of anyone leaving was hitting her hard. Kathryn suspected that Chakotay understood that.

“I expect Jarvin will stay on the planet. In fact, I'd bet on it.”

“Why Jarvin?”

Chakotay shrugged. ”He's been more uncomfortable about the way things worked out than most of the Maquis, and he's gotten involved with a young woman from Quantum Mechanics. I think they'd like to settle down, raise a family.”

"The person I expect to see is Baxter.” She admitted, remembering the conversation that she’d tried to have with him about his athletic hobbies.

"Baxter!” He repeated, surprised. “Walter Baxter?”

Kathryn shrugged. “He's adventurous, a risk-taker. I can see him wanting to take on the challenge of building a new life on this planet.”

"I'd hate to loose Baxter. He's a good man."

"I'd hate to loose Jarvin. I don't want to loose anyone.” The reached the cargo bay doors and stopped. Kathryn stared at Chakotay before turning to face the doors, wondering what was on the other side waiting for them. “We've all been through so much together, it wouldn't seem right. But I couldn't blame anyone, anyone for staying behind." She sighed. "I'm not sure I want to go in.”

His hand went to her shoulder and Kathryn stared at him. ”No matter what happens, we'll make it. Remember that.”

Nodding, they took the step across the threshold together, staring at the containers that littered the otherwise empty room.

Kathryn though she might cry.

***

Kathryn listened to Neelix as he told her, in an extremely round-a-bout way, that he was upset over not having been picked for the holodeck games.

She'd told him how valuable he was - and even managed to mutter something about his food being a highlight of every day - but it didn't seem to be enough.

"I feel underutilized.” He finally admitted. “I can swashbuckle with the best of them.”

“You weren't invited to the holodeck defense simulations, were you?”

She thought he might pout for a moment. “No.”

Her comm. badge beeped before she could answer.

“Captain, you are needed on the Bridge.”

Tuvok still called her Captain from time to time.

And, given that she hadn’t actually been stripped of rank, it was appropriate, but it made her uncomfortable and it caused some odd glances to be thrown her way.

"On my way.” She turned to Neelix. “I'll see to it you're invited next time. And now, Mister Neelix, please, join me on the Bridge.”

“Thank you Kathryn.”

Exiting her office, Kathryn stepped on to the bridge and listened to Tuvok's report. "We are ready to depart. However, Captain Chakotay has still not returned."

Kathryn frowned. "Have you tried hailing him?"

"On all frequencies." Harry shrugged. "No response."

"When was the last time we heard from him?"

"More than six hours ago." Tuvok replied.

Kathryn checked the console between their chairs, looking over the flight plan that he had given her before he'd left. "Well, according to his flight plan, he's not far. We'll just have to go get him. I want all away teams back on board now. Tom, plot a course for Chakotay's last known coordinates."

Tom nodded as he set to work. "Aye."

***

Missing.

The Captain was missing.

If this had happened any more than five months ago, then Kathryn imagined that the Maquis crew would be watching her, waiting for her to make her move and seize the Ship.

Now, though, they were all just trying to get him back.

Agreeing to Chakotay going out in a shuttle alone was stupid. She should never have done it. Regardless of the fact that they didn't run a Starfleet ship, even in the Maquis she would be expected to question his orders if necessary.

She should have questioned this one.

Actually, she should have sabotaged the ship so he couldn't go.

"We're approaching Chakotay's last known coordinates, Kathryn."

Tom's voice broke her thoughts and she nodded. "All stop. Full sensor scan, Harry."

"Picking up floating debris composed of duranium, magnesite and electro ceramics. Also, heavy traces of carbon residue."

Finding the debris field made her heart head south towards her boots.

She tapped her comm. badge. "Bridge to Engineering. Prepare to receive debris samples for analysis."

"Aye, Kathryn."

"Transport complete."

"I am detecting an ion trail leading away from this location." Tuvok told her.

She felt a faint stirring of hope. "Chakotay's shuttle."

"The signature of the radiation is not consistent with Federation propulsion systems." He continued.

"So what are we saying here? That someone blew up Chakotay's shuttle and then took off?"

"That's speculation, Tom, but that trail's the only clue we have to Chakotay's whereabouts.

He nodded. "Laying in a course."

Kathryn sat down in her chair and took a deep breath. "Engage."

Watching the view screen was making her nervous as they followed the train.

She wasn't sure exactly what would happen if, God forbid, he actually had been blown up. She knew that the role of Captain automatically fell to her but, at this point, Kathryn wasn't sure that she wanted that job back.

Her comm. badge beeped not twenty minutes later and she tapped the link open gratefully. "Kathryn here."

"Kathryn, can you come to engineering?"

"On my way, B'Elanna."

The walk to engineering had never felt quite as long as it did now, she thought and Kathryn sighed in relief when she finally reached it.

“Well?” She snapped as she walked into engineering.

”Most of the debris we've examined is composed of a polyduranide alloy which isn't used in the construction of Federation spacecraft.”

Forcing herself to breathe again, Kathryn nodded. “So it wasn't Chakotay's shuttle that was destroyed?”

B’Elanna shook her head. “This ship was Kazon.”

Nodding, Kathryn sighed and headed back to the Bridge.

***

The second debris field caused her to have much the same reaction as the first.

Kathryn tapped her comm. badge. “Bridge to Engineering. B’Elanna, prepare to receive another debris sample.”

”Acknowledged.”

Harry nodded as he worked the ops station. “Transport under way”

“Torres to Bridge. Sample received.”

“Let me know when you've got something, B'Elanna”

The reply was instant. “I've got something right now. It's a piece of Chakotay's shuttle.”

***

Once the sound of her pounding heart had stopped ringing in her ears, Kathryn called the senior staff to the briefing room. She left the chair at the head of the table empty and took her usual place to the left.

Watching the monitor, she listened as the Doctor gave his report.

"I finished analyzing the shuttle debris, and I found no evidence of human remains."

"Then it's possible Chakotay wasn't killed in the explosion." She summarized.

"That is correct."

She sighed. "That's the first good news I've heard all day. Thank you, Doctor."

The EMH looked proud. "My pleasure. Now, would you mind having someone transport this junk to the Cargo Bay? It's cluttering up my lab."

"Of course, Doctor. All right, then. If Captain Chakotay wasn't in the shuttle, where is he?"

"From the dispersal pattern of the debris, we've been able to extrapolate Chakotay's course prior to the explosion." Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "It appears he was heading for an M-Class moon in this system."

"And we found a residual energy displacement within the debris field that isn't consistent with the explosion itself." Harry continued.

"You think he may have transported to that moon?"

Tuvok nodded. "We tried to scan the surface, but there is intense radiothermic interference."

"Radiothermic?" She repeated.

"It appears to be coming from subterranean energy sources, several carefully concealed weapons systems, phaser banks, force fields, proton dischargers-"

Kes cut B'Elanna off, an odd occurrence in itself. "Kazon. When they captured me, I saw how they concealed the weaponry."

"I believe you call them booby traps." Neelix finished.

Kathryn gasped. "Then this moon is some kind of Kazon fortification."

Kes nodded. "Or it may simply be a training site."

"For the Kazon, live ammunition is a very effective teaching tool."

Neelix's words didn't really surprise her and the barbaric aspect of the Kazon race never ceased to amaze her. "In the absence of evidence to the contrary, I choose to believe Chakotay made it to that moon. Harry, see if you can determine the most probable location he would have beamed to. Tuvok, you and I will lead the away team."

"As you wish, but I must point out that due to radiothermic interference, we will not be able to communicate with the ship."

B'Elanna shook her head at Tuvok's words. "I'm already working on a dampening field to cut through the interference, but it'll take several hours at least."

"I don't want to wait that long but keep trying. Neelix, Kes, you're our two Kazon experts. Kes, you'll come with Tuvok and me. Neelix, you said you wanted more to do? Well, now is your chance. I want you on the Bridge with Tom in case we run into any Kazon ships."

"Don't worry, Kathryn. You can count on me to keep those nefarious Kazon at bay."

For the first time since all of this had started, Kathryn allowed herself a small smile as she rose from her seat and nodded to the other occupants of the room. "Dismissed."

***

"You know," Kathryn said, poking her fork in his general direction. "I'm going to argue this time next year when you say you want to take a shuttle out to commemorate the anniversary of your fathers death."

"After the last few days, this time next year, I think I might suggest using the holodeck."

Kathryn glared at him. "Why didn't you suggest that this time, then?"

"Worried, Kathryn?"

Picking up another bite with her fork, she didn't bother responding.

***

Standing on the empty holodeck grid, Kathryn watched the Doctor. His 'identity crisis' of the last day had put a strain on them all.

While they had been worried about loosing their only fully qualified medic - Tom was good, but they needed the Doctor - Kathryn had found that the thought of loosing the EMH was the equivalent to loosing a close friend.

"Try to calm down, Doctor, everything’s going to be fine. Doctor!" She grabbed his shoulders. "Do you know who I am? Do you know where you are?"

He frowned. "I appear to be on the holodeck grid."

"That’s right." Chakotay nodded. "And do you know what you are?"

"Yes, I’m the Emergency Medical Holographic program. Right?"

Kathryn smiled, relieved. For a while it had looked as though they wouldn't be able to pull him out of the 'loop' that he had been stuck in. "Right."

"I assume everything that’s happened took place here on the holodeck."

"That’s right." Chakotay looked as relieved as she felt. "We encountered a sub-space anomaly and there was a radiation surge in the computer system."

"And Kes is my assistant, not my wife?"

Chakotay coughed. "Your wife?"

"Never mind. If it’s okay I’d like to return to Sickbay now."

Kathryn was doing her best not to look amused but she suspected that it wasn't going well. "Of course. It’s good to have you back, Doctor."

"It’s good to be back."

"Computer, transfer EMH program to Sickbay." When he shimmered out of existence, Chakotay turned to her. "Quite a day."

"That's one way to look at it."

Turning towards the exit, they walked side-by-side towards the turbolift.

"You know," Kathryn said as they stepped into the lift. "I often wonder if we would face the same issues if things had worked out differently."

"You mean if I hadn't blackmailed you?"

She blinked, surprised to hear him say it. "Well, yes."

"Do you regret agreeing?" He asked quietly.

Kathryn looked at him and thought for a moment.

Did she regret that the fate of over a hundred people wasn't on her shoulders? Did she regret that she could get a full night's sleep? Did she regret that she could wear comfortable clothes? "No," She finally admitted. "I have my bathtub and my coffee, I'm happy."

Chakotay's laugh echoed through the lift.

***

After the radiation surge in the Doctor's program that caused his delusions, Kathryn thought that he could use a little pick me up.

Walking into sickbay, she glanced around to see that no one else was there. "Computer, activate the Emergency medical Hologram."

He shimmered into life in front of her. "Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

They had only just figured out how to get him out of the Starfleet uniform and into something more appropriate and the sight of his Maquis leathers made her want to laugh.

She held her tongue.

"Hello Doctor."

"Kathryn. How can I help you today?"

Since a few initial complaints from some of the crew about his personality, he had made a sincere effort to be far more polite. She was impressed that they hadn't even had to threaten re-programming for him to do it.

Kathryn smiled. "I'm here to help you, actually."

"I require help?" The Doctor frowned. "Don't tell me. This is another delusion and you're not the First Officer but actually my wife. Or my daughter. Or my sister. Or-"

"Doctor!" She figured it was safer to cut him off before the main tirade started. "You don't need that kind of help. I wanted to give you this."

The Doctor took the chip and looked it over. "What is it?"

"My personal musical database. A collection of musical compositions ranging from the sixteenth to the twenty-fourth centuries with works from a wide variety of cultures." She knew that he was just discovering his affinity for music and Kathryn had hoped that this would help, well, cheer him up - for lack of a better term - after the recent experiences.

"That's... incredibly thoughtful of you."

"I hope you enjoy it." She smiled and patted his arm before turning to leave.

As she reached the doors, Samantha Wildman, now heavily pregnant and nearing the end of her thirteen month gestational period entered.

"Hello Sam."

She nodded her greeting, a hand on her back. "Kathryn."

"How are you?"

"Ready for this to be over." The other woman admitted with a grimace.

Kathryn had spoken with Sam a few times over the course of her pregnancy, helping her adjust to the possibility that her child could be fully grown before he or she met its father.

"Call me if I can help you with anything, OK?"

"I will. Thank you." She smiled. "Doctor? I'm here for my check-up."

***

Moving around her Quarters as she tidied up the evidence of the last few hours spent working, Kathryn's hand hovered over the holoimage that sat on her coffee table.

It was a picture taken the morning that she left to take command of Voyager.

She, Mark and Molly were sitting on the grass in their backyard on Earth, smiling towards the holoimager.

Sighing, she picked it up and touched her fingers over Molly's soft brown skin before moving to Mark's face.

"Goodbye." She whispered softly, moving to place the picture in a draw where it wouldn't mock her.

***

"I was conducting tests. She was none too co-operative, let me assure you. Then suddenly she screeched and shoved me out of the way, went into my office and proceeded to erect a-a force field at the door. I can't lower it. She's keeping me out of my own office." The Doctor was frantic as he gestured to Kes, partitioned inside of his office.

Neelix was just in front of the force field, trying to coax her out. "Sweeting. What's wrong? Please come out."

"I was able to complete several tests before she became delirious." The Doctor explained. "Her fever has increased, and her pulse and blood pressure are dangerously high."

Kathryn frowned as she looked at the confused Ocampa crouched in the corner. "Do you have any idea what's causing these symptoms?"

"I suspect it's the electrophoretic levels being created by the swarm. We should leave, immediately."

They'd been trapped inside the swarm for a few hours and still hadn't found a way out. "Unfortunately, that's not an option at the moment, but we're working on it."

"There's one more thing. I discovered a strange growth on her back. It's unlike any other tumorous substance I've ever seen or studied before, and it was not there the last time I examined her."

Kathryn nodded. "I'll try to talk to her."

"Kes, please come out. You can eat anything you want. Kathryn..."

"Why don't you let me try?" His eyes were dark with worry and she moved as close to the force field as she could, her nose tingling a little from the force. "Kes, please listen to me. We think you're being affected by a swarm of space-dwelling life forms. We're doing everything we can to get away from them. And when we do, you'll probably start feeling better." She was shaking her head frantically. "Are you saying that's not what's wrong with you? Kes, please let me come in. Tell me what it is. I... Maybe I can help." Tapping a few commands into the wall panel behind the Doctor's desk, the force field lowered and the young woman launched herself into Kathryn's arms. She stroked her soft hair, holding her tightly. "Shh. Shh. It's going to be all right. Now, tell me, what is happening to you?"

"Di-Did the Doctor tell you he found something growing on my back?"

Kathryn nodded, trying to soothe the trembling woman. "Yes, a growth of some kind."

Kes shook her head against Kathryn's shoulder. "It's-- It's th-the mitral sac. I-It's... It's where my child would grow. I'm going through the elogium, the t-time of change... when, when my body prepares for f-fertilisation."

"Humans go through the same kind of process." She nodded her understanding as Kes pulled back a little to look at her. "It's called puberty."

Her eyes were wide with fright. "But I'm too young, much too young. It usually happens between the ages of f-four and five. I-I'm not even two yet."

"Listen to me. All your body's metabolic activity has increased. It's possible your reproductive processes are being accelerated as a result."

She shook her head adamantly. "I'm not ready."

Kathryn stroked her hair again. "We're going to get you through this, Kes. The Doctor will monitor you constantly."

"But you, you don't understand. The elogium occurs only once. If I am ever going to have a child, it has to be now!"

She wasn't sure exactly what she could say to that, so she pulled Kes back into her arms and tried to offer what little comfort she could.

***

Kathryn entered the Ready Room, moving to sit across from Chakotay as she delivered her report.

She’d been in sickbay trying to help the confused young woman understand what was happening to her body, since no one else had been able to get through to her.

Kathryn had grown quite fond of Kes in the time she’d known her and the young Ocampa girl had stopped by her quarters several times for advice or a chat.

Her Elogium, brought on early by the electrophoretic levels from the swarm surrounding the ship, had left the poor young woman confronted with possibly her only chance to have a child.

“Kes is terribly frightened.” She told Chakotay with a sigh. “She's had no time to prepare for this. And the decision has to be made in the next forty or fifty hours. She's going to discuss it with Neelix, but there are so many unknowns. There might be risks in procreating this early. And of course, there's no guarantee they're genetically compatible or that Neelix has any interest in becoming a father.” She smiled wryly. “It seems your concerns about fraternization were prophetic.”

He’d mentioned it to her earlier in the day when he’d seen two people kissing against a bulkhead.

”I wasn't even thinking about procreation, but I suppose it's the inevitable outcome.” He tugged at his earlobe. “We should consider the fact that it might be necessary for the crew to start having children.”

Samantha Wildman was due to give birth in the next month and, while they had been preparing for the arrival of Baby Wildman, they hadn't really considered that, one day, her child would be alone.

”It might take us a long time to get home.”

“If it does take 75 years, we're going to need a replacement crew in about half that time.”

Kathryn didn’t like the idea of having children simply so that the ship could continue.

Giving up her captaincy had been one thing, knowingly conceiving a child into a world like this with their fate already sealed… she didn’t know if she could do it. “Who'd have thought that we'd be considering a generational ship when we were ordered on a three-week mission?”

”I know, but it's a problem we have to face now.” He frowned. ”What would that mean for the children? What kind of life would we be giving them aboard a ship, traveling through a potentially hostile part of space? And are we equipped to provide for their needs? Child care, educational facilities. We'd be building an entire community on board this ship. That's a massive commitment.”

"We've been preparing for Samantha's child."

"Yes I know," He agreed. "But providing for the needs of one child is very different to providing for a whole new generation, which is what it may come to, I'm afraid."

”Are you prepared to tell them they can't have children?” Kathryn raised her eyebrows.

Chakotay shook his head. ”I can't do that.”

Kathryn nodded. It was the answer that she had expected. “I know. And I've made it clear to Kes that it's her choice whether to have a child or not, but. Hmm. There aren't any easy answers here, for any of us.”

“What about you?” He asked quietly after a moment of silence.

“What do you mean?”

“Earlier, I asked you if you considered yourself part of the group of people that would eventually pair off. You never answered.”

“I intended for us to be home before Mark gives me up for dead.” Kathryn shrugged. That had been her intention and removing his image from her quarters hadn't changed that. At least, she didn't think it had. “I expect that you would have the same goal.”

“I’ll try not to disappoint you then.”

Kathryn smiled. “I’m sure you wont.”

***

When the chime on her door rang and Kes entered, Kathryn was surprised.

"Kes!" She smiled, gesturing for her to sit on the sofa. "What brings you by?"

"I wanted to thank you. For your help."

"Anytime." Kathryn patted her knee. "Are you disappointed with the way things worked out?"

As she understood it, the Ocampa had only one chance at procreation before their bodies rejected the process.

Kes shook her head. "The Doctor believes the elogium was false, brought on by the electrophoretic field that those life forms created. So there's a possibility that I might be able to go through it again at the right age."

Kathryn smiled. "That's wonderful. I assume you've already told Neelix?"

"Yes," She nodded. "He was disappointed that we weren't going to have a baby now."

"You're young, Kes. It will happen when your body is ready."

"I know. I told him that too." Kes frowned for a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you think about having children?"

Kathryn frowned; she hadn't expected that one.

When Kes had been trying to make her decision and she and Chakotay had been discussing the potential need for a second generation of Voyagers, Kathryn had considered the idea.

She'd managed to convince herself that having a baby out here would be dangerous and, ethically wrong, if she did it with the sole purpose of furthering the ship.

Not to mention the fact that she didn't have a paternal candidate in mind.

Well, not really.

"Yes," She finally admitted. "I would like to have a child. When the time is right."

"I suppose it really is all about timing, isn't it." Kes mused, a small smile on her face.

"It really is." Kathryn agreed.

***

Tom sighed. "This is ridiculous. It's been seven hours. How long does it take to deliver a baby?"

Kathryn shrugged. "As long as it takes, Tom."

"Indeed." Tuvok tilted his head to the side. "During the birth of our third child, my wife was in labour for ninety six hours."

Harry paled. "Four days?"

"I have learned that pregnancy and patience go hand in hand."

Chakotay turned to Kathryn. "You know, I didn't expect to be this nervous. It's not even my child."

Kathryn understood how he felt. "In a way, this child belongs to all of us. It is the first baby born on Voyager. I'm just not sure whether we should be welcoming it on board, or apologizing."

He frowned. "Kathryn?"

She shrugged. "Voyager isn't exactly anyone's idea of a nursery, and the Delta Quadrant isn't much of a playground."

"My father had a saying. ‘Home is wherever you happen to be.'"

He smiled and she considered his words for a moment.

Some time in the previous thirteen months, she had come to think of Voyager as home.

She wasn't sure exactly when it had happened, but at some point, she'd actually become comfortable with the way things had worked out.

Tuvok's voice broke her thoughts. "Captain, long-range sensors are picking up heavy subspace communications ahead. They're Vidiian."

Chakotay was immediately on his feel. "All stop. A ship?"

"At least twenty ships within sensor range." He replied, scanning the display in front of him. "I am also detecting a G-type star system with two inhabited planets. Life signs, Vidiian."

Kathryn frowned. "Sounds like we're headed right into their territory."

"And I'm in no mood to donate any organs today." He frowned as well. "Options, Tom?"

"There's a large plasma drift bearing forty mark seven. It extends almost half the length of this sector. Interference from the plasma should block us from their sensors."

Chakotay nodded. "Good thinking. Lay in a course at full impulse. Tuvok, deflectors at maximum." Moving back to his chair, he turned to Kathryn. "You were right, I don't whether I should be welcoming it on board, or apologizing"

***

"We're clearing the Vidiian system, Chakotay." Tom called.

He nodded. "Take us out of the plasma drift and resume our previous course."

A collective sigh of relief echoed across the bridge before the ship shuddered beneath them.

Kathryn frowned. "What was that?"

"We hit some kind of subspace turbulence as we were coming out of the plasma drift. I can't tell if-"

Tom's voice cut Harry off. "What the hell? Captain, the warp engines just stalled."

"Go to impulse." Chakotay ordered.

"Impulse engines aren't responding. Maneuvering thrusters are out too."

"We're losing main power." Harry announced. "Switching to back up power."

"Red alert." Chakotay tapped his comm. badge. "Bridge to Engineering. Report."

B'Elanna's voice came through immediately. "Our antimatter supply is being drained, Captain. I don't know why. The containment fields are in place. It's like we sprung a leak, but I can't find the crack."

Kathryn frowned. "B'Elanna, try infusing the warp core with repeated proton bursts. That should be enough to keep it going."

"I think I can generate enough protons in the sensor array for a burst every thirty seconds." She replied.

Chakotay nodded. "Do it."

Silence reigned as they waited. It didn't take long for B'Elanna's voice to come through again.

"Torres to Bridge! We're definitely being... we're definitely being hit by proton bursts. But I don't know where they're coming from. I never even started the procedure."

"She's right." Harry confirmed. "The main sensor array is off-line. Not a single burst was fired."

Kathryn frowned at the display between the command chairs as she looked over the same data that Harry saw. "And yet the bursts appear to be originating from within the ship. It's like they're coming out of thin air."

"Captain, these burst are weakening the structural integrity of the hull. We cannot take any more."

Chakotay frowned at Tuvok. "Can we increase power to structural reinforcement?"

Harry answered, shaking his head. "Our antimatter supply is too low. There's just not enough power to go."

"Hull breach on deck fifteen, section twenty nine alpha." Tuvok called. "Emergency force fields are off-line."

"Captain, I've been working on a way to enhance our portable force field generators. It might be enough to seal that breach."

Chakotay nodded to Harry. "Go."

Exchanging a confused look with Kathryn, they both sat back and waited.

***

Seeing yourself was strange, Kathryn decided.

She watched as the composed woman walked around the warp core, talking with Chakotay.

They had been trying to merge the two Voyagers together for hours, but so far hadn't come to any conclusions. They knew that both Ships were sharing the same warp core - causing the drain on power to them - but they hadn't worked out how to make things right.

Kathryn wondered what would happen if they merged the two ships, given their slight differences.

Would she end up with Starfleet black pants an a leather vest? A half bun, half braid combo?

It didn't matter.

Right now, they just had to figure out what to do.

The Bridge had been sealed off just a few moments ago - along with almost half of the Ship - thanks to hull breaches. All of the crew was accounted for, though there were some severely wounded in Sickbay, including Samantha Wildman's child that had arrived just before the trouble started. Currently, they had the baby girl in an incubator as her mother watched on anxiously, though apparently she hadn't survived on the other Voyager due to complications in the birth.

Kathryn spared a thought for the world that the baby had entered and a thought for the baby on the other Voyager that hadn't had a chance at life.

Catching Chakotay's eye, she moved over to where he stood with Captain Janeway.

"Hello." It was dumb, but she didn't know what to say to her counterpart.

For her part, Captain Janeway simply looked her up and down, examining the leathers and the disheveled braid that she wore. "I've been having an interesting discussion with Captain Chakotay here."

Kathryn looked away.

From what she'd heard, the other Chakotay had agreed to the Job of First Officer and Captain Janeway ran a tight Starfleet ship. She could only imagine.

I wonder what I did wrong?

"By my estimates," Captain Janeway continued. "Our antimatter supply will run out in less than half an hour."

"The attempt to merge our ships is throwing us further out of phase. The quantum cohesion on both Voyagers is breaking down." Chakotay continued.

"Just like original Kent State experiment. The duplicate atoms couldn't occupy the same point in space-time for very long before."

Kathryn nodded. While the other Voyager was - obviously - not an exact copy of the ship she knew, there appeared to only be a few differences. "Mutual annihilation."

"Right," Janeway acknowledged. "What are our options?"

Kathryn thought for a moment. Merging was getting them no where, so... "Let's try a different tact. Instead of trying to merge the two ships, let's try to separate them. Maybe we could divide the antimatter between us."

Janeway shook her head. "I'm afraid not. We've been studying that theory. B'Elanna tells me that any attempt to disrupt the antimatter supply will destroy us all. What about evacuating your crew to my ship? It might get a little crowded, but we could manage."

Chakotay shook his head. "We've been studying that theory. And my B'Elanna tells me that sending any more than five to ten people through the rift would radically alter the atomic balance of the two Voyagers. We'd both be destroyed."

Kathryn turned her focus to Janeway. "Captain, I think you should return to your ship and run a metallurgical analysis. Find out the precise phase modulation of your hull. I'll do the same here. Maybe we can find a way to realign the phase displacement."

"You're going to self-destruct your ship." Janeway guessed.

Chakotay didn't deny it. "What makes you say that?"

"Because that's what I would do if your Voyager were intact, and my Voyager were crippled, my crew wounded or dead. I'd sacrifice my ship so that yours could survive."

"Then I'm glad we agree. Go back to your ship." Chakotay nodded. "We'll send Harry and the baby through so that they can have a fighting chance."

Somehow, Janeway's Harry had managed to find the rift between their two Voyagers, passing through it on his way to his quarters.

Kathryn had found him lying in the corridor, dead, his body severely burnt under the gold and black uniform. It had surprised her to see him dressed that way, but she'd ignored it as she'd frantically tried to find a pulse.

When she'd called the Bridge to tell Chakotay, her words had been met with silence until he reported that he was looking at Harry Kim, alive and well.

That was their first clue that there was another Voyager and since his death, they had managed to stabilize the rift that joined the two Ships, though no one could guess how long it would hold.

When she turned away from the thoughts, Janeway was shaking her head. "I didn't say I agree, I said I understand. I'm not willing to let you make that sacrifice yet. We haven't explored all the options."

"Yes, we have and we both know it. This is my ship and my decision."

"Captain, I'm not going to let you."

"I've made my decision! Please don't make me call security and have you escorted off my ship, because you know I'll do it."

"All right." Janeway conceded. "I'll go back. But give me fifteen minutes to come up with another solution before you send anyone through the rift. After that, it's your decision."

"Fifteen minutes." He agreed. "Good luck."

Janeway nodded. "To both of us." Looking to Kathryn, she cocked her head.

Following the other woman away from Chakotay, Kathryn waited for what she knew was coming.

"What the hell happened here?"

We're so predictable. She sighed. "He refused the offer to merge our crews."

"He refused?" Janeway raised her eyebrow, surprised.

"Yes. He didn't think the Maquis would adjust."

"My former Maquis did." Janeway waved away her curious look as they walked. "Oh, we had some teething problems, but we dealt with them."

Kathryn met her gaze evenly. It had taken her a long time to come to terms with not being a Starfleet Captain anymore, she wasn't going to defend her decision to this woman, regardless of their shared DNA. "I guess the Chakotay on this ship didn't think we could do that."

"So you gave up your captaincy?"

She shrugged. "Voyager needs to get home."

They stopped at the bulkhead before the rift. "I would have done the same if my Chakotay had demanded it too. Good luck." Janeway stepped through the rift.

Oh yes, strange was certainly the theme for the day.

***

Catching the hypospanner that B'Elanna tossed to her, Kathryn sighed as she continued working.

"Have all the breaches been repaired?" She asked.

Since getting out of the spatial flux, thanks to Captain Janeway's sacrifice of her Voyager, they had limped away from the approaching Vidiian's and spent several hours working on repairs.

They'd been lucky enough to find a nearby nebula that would hide their signature and life signs until everything was back on-line and they could defend against the Vidiian's if it came to that, which they all thought it would.

"Yes," B'Elanna called. "Though I've just found another burnt out gel pack."

"I'll ask Chakotay to requisition more from Starfleet." Kathryn joked.

Their dwindling supply of gel packs and photon torpedo’s was a source of concern for everyone.

Without access to a Starbase that stocked Starfleet technology - which was highly unlikely, given their position - once they ran out, they ran out.

"I was thinking about that, actually." B'Elanna told her as she moved to stand beside Kathryn, burnt out gel pack in her hand. "What if we made more?"

Kathryn frowned. "We tried that."

"We did." She agreed. "I say we try again."

Blinking, Kathryn thought about it for a moment.

If it worked, it would go a long way to ensuring Voyager continued running. If it didn't, they could probably blow up a science lab, with them in it, not to mention half of the ship.

"It will take some planning."

B'Elanna shrugged. "We could do it."

Nodding, Kathryn smiled.

At the very least, it would be an interesting challenge. "I'll bring the PADD's, you get the coffee."

***

Chakotay blinked. "You did what?"

"We reproduced a gel pack."

"How?"

Kathryn shrugged. He was an extremely intelligent man, but she wasn't going to spit technobabble at him and watch his eyes glaze over. "With a lot of coffee."

"I thought we tried to do that months ago." He frowned. "It didn't work."

"We didn't have a good supply of coffee then. Never underestimate what that substance can do for the creative juices."

He laughed and examined the newly made pack in his hand. "Will it work?"

"We hope so." She nodded. "The holodeck simulations that we ran all came back positive. Beyond that, the only way to test it is by installing it in a non-critical area and waiting with out fingers crossed. With the way that things stand for Voyager right now, sooner or later we all knew that we'd have to get creative with keeping the ship going. We can't assume that we're going to get home next week, no matter how much we might like to think that."

Chakotay nodded. "How long did this take you?"

"B'Elanna and I started working on it at ten hundred hours." She replied. Quietly adding, "The day before last."

"Have you slept?"

She clucked her tongue. "There were some periodic naps involved."

Which meant that at random intervals, one - and both of them at one stage - had passed out from exhaustion, woke and continued working.

"You were both meant to be taking the last two days off after all of the repair work that you did."

"This was fun."

Fun in a mind-numbing, I-want-to-die-please-space-me-now kind of way.

"Go to bed, Kathryn."

It may have been the sleep deprivation, but there was something decidedly dirty in hearing him say that.

She nodded anyway.

He might be reprimanding her for working through her days off, but Kathryn had seen the surprise and delight in his eyes. Turning, she moved to exit the Ready Room.

"And Kathryn? Well done."

Looking back, she matched his smile.

***

After a relatively boring part of space, Kathryn - and the rest of the crew - were all grateful for a chance to take their minds off, well, nothing.

"Hello? Anybody here? Neelix?"

They heard Kes enter the holodeck and someone started a count to three before everyone jumped up from their hiding place and the lights came on.

"Surprise!" They chorused.

"Surprise!" Neelix was beside her in an instant. "Happy birthday, my sweet."

Kissing her cheek, Kathryn smiled. "Happy birthday, Kes."

"Imagine, two years old today. If you ask me, you don't look a day over one."

Kes grinned at his compliment before frowning in confusion. "Why was everyone hiding?"

Chakotay stood next to Kathryn. "Oh, it's an old Earth custom called a surprise party."

"Sorry if we startled you." Kathryn apologized.

"No," Kes shook her head. "I liked it. It was very exhilarating."

"Now, how about a glass of my special birthday punch? Garçon?" Neelix clicked his fingers until the bartender turned around to face them.

"On the rocks or straight up?"

Kes beamed. "Doctor! I'm so glad you're here."

Sandrine rang a finger across the Doctor's chin, despite his uncomfortable fidgeting. "My new bartender. Handsome, isn't he?"

"I'm here in an official capacity, of course. In case of a medical emergency." He explained.

Kes raised her eyebrow. "Emergency?"

"Surprises have been known to cause acute hyperventilation, oesophageal spasms and in extreme cases, even coronary arrest. One can never be too careful."

Nodding at his serious tone, Kathryn handed Kes the gift that she'd picked out. "Birthday gifts are also an Earth tradition." She explained.

"Thank you Kathryn!"

Hugging her briefly, Kathryn stepped back when Neelix came out with a large blue cake.

"Wait till you taste this cake. Seven layers of Jibalian fudge, and the icing is made from pureed K'moti nuts, Kes's favorite."

Kathryn nodded to the cake. "Now make a wish and blow out the candles."

"Well, what do I wish for?"

"Anything your petit coeur desires, ma Cherie." Sandrine told her, before leaning back to Kathryn, her voice dipping lower. "And with a figure like hers, she'll probably get it too."

"Okay, I wish for..."

"Don't tell us!" B'Elanna interrupted. "The wish has to be a secret if it's going to come true."

Nodding, Kes bent and blew out the candle to the sound of everyone clapping their approval.

"Bridge to Janeway and Chakotay."

Chakotay tapped his comm. badge. "Go ahead."

"Captain, we have encountered an unusual phenomenon... phenomenon... phenomenon...phenomenon... phenomenon... phenomenon... phenomenon... phenomenon... phenomenon... phenomenon... phenomenon... phenomenon..." Tuvok's voice echoed.

"What is going on?" Kathryn looked at B'Elanna.

"It might simply be a localized malfunction, but I've never heard anything like it. My guess is, it's a problem with the comm. system itself."

"Chakotay to Bridge. Get down to Engineering and run a diagnostic." He smiled apologetically at Kes. "I'm afraid we're going to have to cut your party short, Kes. Stations, everyone. Let's move.

Neelix frowned. "But, but, what about the Jibalian fudge cake?"

"Save me a slice, won't you?" Kathryn called as she followed Chakotay out of the holodeck.

***

"I don't understand it." Harry said. "We should have found the hatch to the Bridge ten minutes ago. I feel like we're crawling in circles."

"But we haven't, at least not according to this tricorder. Odd." Kathryn frowned.

They'd left the holodeck almost an hour before and she'd been trying to get to the bridge ever since.

After splitting up with Chakotay, she had found the transporter room, engineering, a rather startled half-naked ex-Maquis and, finally, Harry Kim wandering through the halls, but so far no Bridge. She and Harry had teamed up in an effort to increase their odds and finally crawled into the Jeffries tubes as the tried to find the hatch that led to the Bridge.

"What is it?"

"A very faint electromagnetic reading. Now it's gone. There it is from another direction."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I'm getting it too."

"It comes and goes, jumps from place to place."

"Could it be evidence of the ship's reconfiguration?"

"Possibly. We'll have to compare this data with readings the others get." If they didn't get this sorted soon, they were in serious trouble. Having said that... "Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I just want you to know you've been one of the bright spots of this whole mission. You've exceeded any expectations I might have had of you and I'm very proud of the way that you handled the changeover with Chakotay and the other Maquis."

"Thank you, Kath... er... I... I appreciate that." He frowned. "Wait a minute. Down there. I think that's the conduit leading to the Bridge."

She smiled. He still had trouble with her name. "Good work. Maybe now we'll get some answers."

They crawled forward until they stopped in front of the hatch.

"That's the hatch. This should let us out in the cargo hold directly behind the Bridge."

Let's hope so! Pulling at the handle, Kathryn frowned. "It's not working."

"We better try it manually."

Pulling the clamps from the wall beside the hatch, Kathryn attached them and pulled with as much strength as she had, to no avail. "It's stuck."

As she said it, the hatch slid back and she lunged forward, watching as her arm was caught in... something, she didn't even know what to make of the distorted shapes and colors before her.

Dimly, she heard Harry's voice calling her.

She was resisting the pull on her arm, trying to pull herself back. "I can't get my arm out!" Two hands grasped her hips and pulled sharply until they both fell back, breathing hard. "I think I'm okay."

"I'm reading an intense electromagnetic charge on the other side of that hatch. That must have been what was pulling you in."

"It's as if everything on the other side is in a state of structural flux the wall, the atmosphere."

"And the sequence of those fluctuations matches the readings from the distortion ring. This phenomenon isn't just occurring in space. It's definitely inside the ship as well."

"We're going to have to regroup and come up with a plan for combating this thing." Though they still weren't sure what 'this thing' actually was.

Kathryn frowned as she fought to focus her mind.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know." She shook her head before blackness washed over her. "Oh! Oh, my eyes!"

"Kathryn? Kathryn!"

He did it, She thought proudly, but it was the last thought that fluttered through her mind before everything shut down.

***

A hand was stroking her hair.

When she opened her eyes, she could see Chakotay beside her and the EMH leaning over her.

Frowning, she let Chakotay help her into a sitting position.

"Kathryn?"

"I'm all right."

"You were delirious." The Doctor amended.

Kathryn shook her head. "It was some sort of message."

Chakotay's hand was holding hers as he spoke. "What was?

"The spatial distortion. It was trying to communicate with us."

She didn't know if she had the words to explain what she'd seen, what the spatial distortion had shown her, so she didn't bother trying.

***

Moving out of the turbolift, Chakotay turned to the other occupants also exiting, finally having found their way to the bridge now that the ship seemed to be 'in place' again. "I want a full systems report. And Harry, Tuvok, I want every iota of information that was recorded regarding that phenomenon."

"The distortion ring's directly ahead," Tom announced as he took his place at the Conn. "It's moving away from us at two thousand kph."

Kathryn checked the console between their chairs, scanning for injury or damage reports. "We've got a full crew complement. No injuries reported."

"No damage to the hull or ship systems." B'Elanna added.

"Incredible." Kathryn breathed.

"You're not going to believe this, but 20 million gigaquads of new information have been input into the ship's computer."

Kathryn frowned. "Where did it come from?"

B'Elanna shrugged. "My guess is it came from the distortion ring."

"Somebody's definitely trying to tell us something." Chakotay nodded.

"That's not all, Chakotay. Our entire database has been copied and downloaded into somebody else's system."

"I guess whoever they were, they want to know everything they can about us too."

"Maybe it was their only way of communicating with us." Kathryn offered. "Maybe they were just trying to say hello."

Before anyone could respond, Kes and Neelix stepped off the lift, her arms loaded with plates and forks while Neelix carried the large blue cake. "Cake anyone?"

It was the best offer she'd had all day.

***

Kathryn frowned as she stared at the replicator menu, trying to decide what she was going to have for dinner. She'd been staring at the same page of the menu for almost ten minutes now and she still hadn't come any closer to a decision.

Finally giving up, she sighed. "Coffee. Black."

It might not be nutritious, but it was the best solution she could think of.

Moving around to her desk, she sat with the stack of PADD's that needed her approval.

They weren't holding her attention any more than the dinner selection had, so she moved them aside and picked up her nearly finished blanket and crochet hook.

She'd intended for the blanket to be finished before Samantha gave birth, but there hadn't been time.

Now that Naomi Wildman was almost six weeks old, Kathryn sat down and decided that she was going to get it finished tonight and deliver it to Sam the next morning.

Well, that was the plan.

***

"Come in." Chakotay called and Kathryn entered, moving to stand before the desk. "I hope you have good news, Kathryn. Based on this inventory, our food reserves look to be down to thirty percent of capacity."

"Good news and bad. We have located an M-class planet, and it shows high amino acid and protein readings."

"That should indicate a healthy plant life. What's bad about it?"

She winced. Course deviations always made them uncomfortable but, at this point, they had little choice. "It's a full day out of our way."

Chakotay shrugged. "I don't think we have any choice. It's the first chance we've had to replenish our supplies in weeks."

"And our long-range sensors can't confirm any plant life on the surface." She added.

"Why not?"

"It's one strange planet. It's shrouded. Vapors cover it like a curtain. EM disturbances all over the atmosphere." She showed him the PADD. "Some of these readings suggest a planet early in its evolution, almost like a primeval Earth." Pointing to the schematics she referenced. "The people in Stellar Cartography have already nicknamed it 'Planet Hell'."

"So it might be a wild goose chase." He summarized.

Kathryn shrugged. "I don't know what we'll find when we get to the surface. Flora or fauna, friend or foe."

"If we knew we'd find another M-class planet soon, I'd..." He didn't finish that thought. "Set a course for Planet Hell."

Looking over his tired features, Kathryn couldn't help but wonder if she would look that bad if their positions were reversed.

"You should take a break." She finally said.

"I will soon." He nodded.

"Can I get you anything, then?"

"No." He paused. "But thank you."

***

"Paris to Kathryn."

Sighing, Kathryn continued her brisk walk towards engineering as she tapped the link open. "Go ahead."

"I've done an analysis of our route through Botha space. Whenever you have a minute to check it out..."

She wanted to snap at him to take the issue to the Captain, but it was part of her job. "I'm on my way to Engineering. I'll be with you as soon as I'm done."

"Aye, Kathryn."

She closed the link just as Neelix rounded the corner.

"Ah, Kathryn, the computer told me I'd find you on deck eleven section four b, starboard side, and sure enough, here you are."

She bit back another sigh. Kathryn couldn't remember having this many people vying for her attention when she was a Commander or, hell, even when she'd been the Captain of Voyager. "What can I do for you, Neelix?"

"I assumed you'd want to talk to me."

He did? "About?"

"About the Botha. We're headed for their space and as I've told you, they're going to have to be handled very carefully. The Captain informs me that you're in charge of the relations."

Right.

The Botha.

Again.

If people didn't give her a moment to breathe, she was going to order Tuvok to shoot the Botha simply for the permanent headache she'd had for the last two days. "I understand and of course I want your counsel but right now I'm late for a meeting."

"I wouldn't put this off too long. We're getting closer, you know."

"Yes, I know. And I will be with you as soon as I can."

Acknowledging his farewell with a brief nod, Kathryn entered engineering.

"Sorry, I'm late. What do you have?"

B'Elanna smiled. "I think we're about ready to make our first attempt."

"If you're successful, will the Doctor be able to move freely around the entire ship?"

"Not exactly." Harry gestured to the console he was working at. "The holoemitters would be set up in certain key areas, the bridge, Engineering. We'll be able to transfer him to those locations."

Kathryn nodded. "In the same way we can now transfer him to the holodeck."

"Exactly. But if he tries to move into an area where there's no emitter field, he'll dematerialize."

Some days, Kathryn wondered if that wouldn't be a bad thing.

"I have the holoprojector on-line. We're ready to start." Harry looked at her expectantly.

"Proceed. I don't have much time." Which seemed to be her mantra, these days.

"Engineering to Sickbay. Doctor, we're ready here."

"I'm standing by."

B'Elanna took a deep breath. "Okay. Here goes."

"Initiating transfer. Here he comes." Harry punched at a few keys before looking up... and then down.

Kathryn followed his gaze and bit her tongue.

The EMH - or should that be MiniEMH? - had his hands on his hips. His very small hips. "Well, this is certainly a brilliant feat of engineering."

Clearing her throat - this was the most amusement she'd had in days - Kathryn looked sternly to the two people at her side who were also trying no to laugh. "What happened?"

"I guess the imaging interface wasn't properly stabilized."

"Just a small oversight." Harry smiled apologetically at the Doctor. "No pun intended."

"Very amusing."

It was hard to take the Doctors voice seriously when it came out at such a high-pitched tone. "How long will it take you to correct this 'small oversight'?"

Harry shrugged. "Maybe a couple of hours."

"Mister Kim, I have to assess our navigational plan and get ready to make contact with an alien species. I can't drop everything whenever you call."

She was about to open her mouth again to apologize when her comm. badge beeped. Again.

"Tuvok to Janeway."

Kathryn tapped it harder than she'd intended and winced. "Go ahead."

"I would like a half an hour of your time to review the security protocols before we encounter the Botha."

Maybe then we can discuss how you're going to shoot them on sight! "Yes, Tuvok. Somehow I will find half an hour."

"Excuse me, Kathryn. Would you come down here, please?"

Kathryn knelt down to the EMH. "Yes?"

"When did you last take shore leave?"

"About two months ago."

He nodded, though it was hard to tell. "Ah. How long since you've done something pleasurable, for recreation?"

"Doctor, I know I'm a bit testy today, but I can assure you-"

"How long?" He repeated sternly.

"It's been a while." She admitted. "I have a Holonovel program. It helps me unwind. I haven't had time to run it for a few weeks."

"Well, I want you to, now."

"Doctor," She protested. "I'm really very busy."

"I'm ordering you to report to the holodeck, now."

Kathryn's mouth opened. "You can't!" She was about to say "It's against regulations!" - though it probably wasn't - but that was a moot point for them.

Her head hurt far too much to bother arguing with him. "Aye, sir."

***

Lord Burleigh usually relaxed her but even that wasn't working today.

She'd argued with him over the children and, rather than take pleasure from the simplicity of it all, she just wanted to strangle him.

When her comm. badge beeped, she ordered the computer to freeze program and tapped it gratefully.

"Kathryn here."

"We've been hailed by a representative of the Bothan government. They'd like to talk to you." Chakotay sounded almost amused.

She'd done the deep-space negotiations with them and, apparently, one of the more anal aspects of the Bothan government was that they only negotiated with one person from an alien race.

"On my way." She closed the link and looked at the frozen face of her holocharacters love interest. Lord Burleigh wasn't what she would consider an attractive man, but he fit the part. "Sorry my lord. Duty calls."

Leaving the holodeck, Kathryn hurried to her Quarters and shed the heavy dress that she wore, changing in to her leathers and rushing to the bridge.

Neelix met her in the turbolift. "I knew we should have talked this morning."

There was a list of people that was bigger than her arm of people she had to meet with. "Tell me what you know, Neelix."

"I've been in subspace contact with some old friends of mine, uh, nomads, collectors, much as I used to be. They're in a position to gather information during their travels. What they've told me doesn't sound good."

Kathryn frowned. She'd only dealt with the Bothan briefly to establish contact, but it hadn't been unpleasant in any way. "How so?"

"There are lots of rumors about ships entering Bothan space, never to be heard from again. My sources on Mithren say that they have lost a number of vessels. They say the Botha protect their territory fiercely."

When are we going to meet an alien race that will tell us about their intentions up front? "But we aren't aggressors."

"I don't think they are either. They just don't want anyone crossing their borders."

Which was exactly why Chakotay had ordered her to contact them in the first place. "Will they negotiate? Will they respond to diplomacy?"

"Er, it's hard to say. There's some belief that they don't even have a legitimate claim to the space, that they're nothing more than pernicious, odious vandals. In which case, diplomacy would fall on deaf ears."

They stepped on to the bridge as Tuvok was addressing Chakotay.

"We're being hailed again, Captain."

Chakotay nodded to her. "The floor is yours."

"On screen. I'm Kathryn Janeway of Voyager."

The shadowed Bothan appeared on screen. "Why have you entered our space without permission?"

"I assure you, we mean no disrespect. I contacted your government to explain our situation." She sighed. "We are from another part of the galaxy. We're just trying to make our way home."

"We'll send a ship to rendezvous with you. If you meet the criteria, we'll consider your request."

Kathryn did her best not to smile. "Thank you. What are the criteria?"

"We'll discuss that when we meet." He terminated the visual link.

Tom snorted. "Friendly fellow."

"At least they're willing to talk." She shrugged.

"Point." Chakotay nodded. "Neelix, Kathryn, let's move this to the Ready Room so that we can discuss this meeting."

***

It was after the meeting with Chakotay and Neelix when she was walking the corridor and she heard the voices.

During the meeting, Neelix had demanded that she have something to eat - followed by Chakotay’s agreement of that fact - and he'd moved to bring her some food.

The cucumber sandwiches and the cup that he'd served her coffee in had been pure coincidence, she told herself firmly.

But the voices she couldn't ignore.

Lord Burleigh. "I can't help myself. I've fallen in love with you."

Beatrice. My mother is alive, and my father loves her, not you.

Frowning, Kathryn made her way towards engineering.

After asking B'Elanna to run a diagnostic - maybe what they'd been doing with the Doctor had interfered in the entire holodeck - she found herself back in the mansion with Lord Burleigh complimenting her leathers.

"Computer, delete character." She snapped as her comm. badge chirped.

"We're finished, Kathryn, but we didn't find any malfunctions."

"Recalibrate and try it again. I'm going to check something else. Thanks B'Elanna."

Sighing, she went in search of Neelix, determined to figure out what was going on.

***

When her conversation with Neelix bore no fruit, she went to sickbay.

"I don't detect anything so far." The Doctor mused as he scanned her. "No evidence of aneurysm, subdural haematoma, stroke."

"Could it be stress?" She asked, rubbing her forehead.

"Possibly. Did you go to the holodeck as I ordered?"

"Yes…"

"And was that relaxing?"

She huffed. "It was interesting. I'm not sure how relaxing it was."

"There are other possibilities we should consider. I want to scan for airborne bacteria and viruses. We should investigate the possibility of an alien intruder. And I'd like to do a cerebro-cortical scan on you." Nodding, she titled her neck to allow the Doctor to place the monitor on her.

"Oh!" Kes shivered, holding her arms across her stomach. "Oh."

"Kes?"

"Er, I don't know. Strange. Oh, suddenly I felt cold, shivery." She shrugged, frowning.

"Someone was walking your grave." Kathryn commented absently.

The Doctor 'hmm'd' and moved away.

When Kathryn looked up, Beatrice was standing before her again, her tight ringlets bobbing as she shook her head.

"What's about my mother's grave? There's no one inside. The coffin is empty."

"Doctor!" Kathryn called. "Who do you see here?"

Moving to her side, the Doctor frowned. "I see you."

"And I see you. But I also see a little girl from my holodeck program." Beatrice rushed at her and Kathryn flinched. "Oh."

"What happened?"

Shaking her head to clear the sudden fuzziness, Kathryn blinked. "I'm not sure. The image of the little girl suddenly rushed at me."

"I saw it too." Kes admitted. "When I came in, I felt as though something hit me, bounced off me, then I saw the little girl moving right into you."

"As though you became a mirror. You reflected her back toward me."

"I've been doing some mental exercises with Tuvok developing my telepathic abilities, but we haven't done anything like this." Kes looked frightened at the potential of this new ability.

The Doctor ran the medical tricorder over her again. "Kathryn, until I am able to determine the cause of these hallucinations, I prefer that you return to your quarters. Get some rest."

***

After the incident in sickbay with Beatrice, Kathryn returned to her quarters and sighed as the doors closed behind her.

It was certainly shaping up to be an interesting few days.

When the Doctor had suggested - ordered - that she go to the holodeck for some relaxation, the following events hadn’t been quite what she’d expected.

Moving to the replicator, she finally decided that she'd have that lunch she missed.

"Vegetable bouillon. No, cancel that. Coffee ice cream." A sound made her turn. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Kath? Are you there?"

Kathryn frowned. She knew that voice. "Computer, is there anyone in these quarters except me?"

"Negative."

"Kath, are you there?"

Mark!

No! I'm going crazy!

She looked around her quarters but they were empty. "Who's that?"

"Come look at the puppies."

"Mark."

His soft voice was exactly as she remembered. "I have missed you so much, Kath. When are you coming back? I don't think you've missed me. Someone else is in your thoughts now. Isn't that true? Isn't there someone you're thinking of?"

Following the sound of his voice, Kathryn moved to the door but it didn't open automatically. "Computer, open the door."

The door slid open and Mrs. Templeton from her holoprogram was there, wielding a large knife.

"Everything was fine until you came here. I took care of him. He trusted me. But when you arrived, all that changed."

Kathryn took one step back for every step forward that the other woman moved. "Janeway to Security. Intruder alert."

"You've done nothing but cause trouble. We don't want more trouble in our lives!"

***

She fought against Mrs. Templeton, wary of the knife as she cried for help. "Security to the Captain's quarters! Tuvok, please respond!"

Where is he?

Struggling, she dodged the knife over and over again as she felt her strength dissipating.

Tuvok!

Chakotay!

Help me!

Finally, the Doctor's voice rang in her ears as Mrs. Templeton disappeared. "Kathryn! Listen to me! You are in Sickbay. You are all right. Kathryn!"

Blinking, Kathryn focused on her surroundings as Tuvok held her arms steady.

With his help, she stood on shaky legs as the Doctor frowned at her.

"Kathryn, if you'll take a seat on one of the beds, I'd like to do some further tests. Kes, please prepare Kathryn for a cerebro-cortical scan."

"Certainly." Kes nodded and turned to Kathryn. "I saw your hallucination again."

"What did you see?"

"You were struggling with a woman. She had a knife. She was trying to hurt you." Kes looked frightened.

Kathryn nodded. "That's right."

"As I focused on you, it was just like with the little girl. The image seemed to reflect off of me and move back into you."

Following her lead, Kathryn moved to the biobed. "Your telepathic abilities must be increasing."

"I think it's more than that." Kes shook her head. "I think something strange is happening on this ship and it's not just happening to you."

***

The Ship rocked beneath her, almost knocking Kathryn off the bed as she pulled herself up and stood. "I can't stay here."

"Kathryn, I can't allow you to leave Sickbay. You're in no condition to-"

"Sorry, Doctor. If we're in trouble, my place is on the Bridge."

She might not be the Captain anymore, but Kathryn had a feeling that she would always think of Voyager as hers and she needed to be on the Bridge if they were in trouble.

Rushing on to the Bridge, she listened to the Bothan on screen.

"Your ship is damaged and your negotiator incapacitated. I will accept your immediate surrender."

Moving forward, she planted her hands firmly on her hips. "You're not getting one. The negotiator is fine."

"I don't think so. I think the battle is over now." He leant forward into the light, revealing his face.

"Mark." She whispered disbelievingly.

"Don't you recognize the man you love?"

Kathryn forced her gaze away from his image. "Tom, who do you see on the view screen?"

"It's my father."

"I see my girlfriend, Libby." Harry offered.

"Harry, shut down visual." Chakotay called.

"I'm trying, Captain. It won't terminate."

"Tuvok, do a multiphasic scan on those ships. I want any evidence of defensive weakness. And prepare the forward photon torpedoes for launch. Tuvok."

When he didn't answer Chakotay, Kathryn turned to find him staring straight ahead.

"Tuvok? Tuvok, answer me. Tuvok!"

"Captain, I'll do it." Harry offered. "Running a multiphasic scan."

"Torres to the Captain."

"Chakotay here."

"We're having problems down here. I can't get a response from anyone. People are becoming delusional."

"It's happening here too." Chakotay confirmed as he looked around to see two other bridge officers staring straight ahead.

"I think I know why." B'Elanna said. "There's a massive energy field coming from those ships. It's bioelectric, modulating on a delta wave frequency. It has psionic properties, and it's permeating the hull."

Kathryn frowned at Chakotay. "A psionic field has a psychoactive effect. That would explain the hallucinations."

"You can try remodulating the shields." B'Elanna offered. "But in the meantime, I'm going to set up a resonance burst from the warp core. That will probably block the field, but it'll take a while to set up."

Chakotay nodded to Kathryn, cocking his head towards the turbolift. "Kathryn's on her way to help."

***

Stepping in to the turbolift, Kathryn called, "Deck eleven."

She felt his presence before he spoke. "Now maybe you have time to talk to me. You're so strong, Kath. That's one of the things I always loved in you." He moved to kiss her neck and she flinched, pulling away. "What's the matter? You used to love it when I kissed you there."

Kathryn kept her eyes straight ahead, refusing to look at him. "I don't know who you are, what you are, but I won't let you touch me."

"What about the man on the holodeck? You didn't seem to mind him touching you, did you? In fact, I think you liked it."

"That's different." She snapped.

A hand moved to her hip and she dodged it, continuing to keep her eyes focused on the doors of the lift, waiting for it to arrive at deck eleven. "I will not let you touch me." She repeated.

"Are you sure about that?"

His voice was different - deeper, harsher - and when Kathryn let her eyes slide form the wall to his face, she saw that his features had changed.

No longer the fair skin and grey hair that she'd always known, the man before her had dark skin and inky black hair.

He pulled her too him, lowering his lips to hers and Kathryn melted into the embrace.

***

She didn't know how much time had passes - if, indeed, any time had passed at all - but Kathryn opened her eyes and blinked a few times. The turbolift doors were open and as she looked out, she could see that she had arrived at deck eleven.

Moving out of the lift, she walked toward engineering, not allowing herself to consider what her stiff nipples and the wetness between her legs could mean.

Did it happen? Was any of it real? What does it mean? The thoughts fluttered through her mind but she firmly pushed them aside and continued walking.

When she entered, Kes was standing by the warp core, surrounded by the catatonic engineering staff and an alien with odd lesions on his face, crouched down on the ground.

"Why did you do this to us?" She asked, moving to stand by Kes.

The alien shrugged. "Because I can."

"Is it just telepathy or is there technology involved?"

"Does it matter?"

"Oh, it matters to me." And it would matter to Chakotay. "Because I don't intend to let you continue preying on others."

"How would you propose to stop me?" The alien was smug.

"We could destroy your technology. Or adjust your brain wave patterns to prevent telepathy. And then we could turn you over to the government of Mithren. We could even keep you confined in our brig behind a force field."

"I'm sure you're very well-intentioned and I'd like to be able to accommodate you but you see, I'm not really here."

The alien disappeared before their eyes and Kathryn tried to blink away the disconcerting feeling in her stomach.

***

Sitting in the darkened Mess Hall, Kathryn watched the passing stars as she nursed a cup of coffee in her hands.

After their experience with the Bothan, she wasn't quite sure what to think.

It had taken a few hours but, eventually, she had remembered all of the graphic details of her encounter in the lift. The images taunted her now, like she was watching a holovid of someone else. A very erotic holovid of someone else.

The mess hall doors slid open and she turned to see B'Elanna enter, waving her over.

"I'm surprised to see you here, Kathryn. Isn't this the day that you're usually in the holodeck with your novel?"

Kathryn smiled wryly. "I thought, after our recent experience, that I'd take a break from fantasy for a while."

"I don't blame you. I think it had quite an impact on all of us." B'Elanna shuddered. "Do you think it's true? That the alien was reading our minds, creating images from our own experiences?"

Kathryn wanted to ask what her delusion had been about. "It seems that way. He had uncanny ability to bring buried thoughts out into the open. Why?"

"Oh, it's just, I experienced something I'd rather not admit."

"I know. Me too." At least, not until she could sort through how she felt about it first. "But, in a way, maybe he did us all a favor. Maybe it's better to look those feelings in the eye than to keep them locked up inside."

Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Kathy.

B'Elanna shrugged uncomfortably. "I guess. I'll have to think about that. Well, I have an early watch tomorrow, so I'd better turn in. Good night, Kathryn."

"Good night, B'Elanna. Sweet dreams." She smiled and raised her cup in a mild salute.

Nodding, B'Elanna rose and moved back towards the doors. "Thanks. You too."

Alone with her thoughts once more, Kathryn wondered if her daydream had been some sort of un-subtle hint towards something.

As much as she would have liked to pass it off as little more than frustration - it had been almost two years, after all - or simply that she worked with an attractive man, she just wasn't sure that 'frustration' or 'attraction' covered it.

Sighing, Kathryn drained the last of her coffee and left the mess hall in search of something to clear her thoughts.

***

Fiddling with the fork in her hands, Kathryn found herself once more opposite Chakotay as they shared a meal.

It was the first one that they'd had together since the night a few months ago when she had found herself appreciating his attractiveness and wondering what the hell she should do, if anything, about it.

Since then, every invitation that he'd made, she had gently rebuffed with the promise of a rain check.

After her recent encounter in the turbolift with her 'daydream man', Kathryn had surprised herself by inviting him to her Quarters for dinner. He'd agreed and then she'd told him that he had to cook unless he wanted to end up in sickbay.

So, once again, she found herself in his Quarters.

"What was it like to meet them?" She asked, sipping her wine carefully.

In search of polyferranide that they had needed to seal the warp coils, they'd found a warp signature that had been of interest to Chakotay's heritage. After giving her the Official Rubber Tree Theory, he had mentioned how important this discovery would have been to his father and he'd even gotten the chance to talk with them when he was cut off from the ship.

"Amazing." He replied. "I learnt so much about my people in a short conversation. I only wish that my father could have been here for this, he would have loved it."

"Are you going to seek a vision quest?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes, I think I might. My father deserves to hear about this." He picked at the vegetable lasagna in front of him. "As disappointed as I am that we didn't get to mine the minerals... I think it was a worth while stop."

With the excitement that he showed, she had to agree. "I'm glad that you got the chance to meet with them."

"So am I." He sipped at his wine. "I even picked up some of the old tongue. I'd forgotten how beautiful the language is."

Kathryn pursed her lips. "Will you teach me?"

"I don't know much he warned..." Instructing the compute not to translate, Chakotay smiled at her and said a short phase twice, his words slow.

Laughing self-consciously, Kathryn tried to repeat the phrase and watched as he screwed his nose up at her skewed attempt.

"I guess I need more practice," She admitted after a while.

"I'll be happy to help."

***

Kathryn stared at the lump of rock that was the Caretaker's remains. "Life signs." She breathed, frowning.

"Apparently so. But before I could analyze them the life signs simply ceased." The Doctor replied.

B'Elanna frowned. "I'm scanning the remains on all bio-spectral frequencies." She shook her head. "It's completely inert. Dead."

"Well somehow I find it hard to believe this rock suddenly came to life for several seconds." Chakotay's voice held the faint stirrings of hope that she felt.

"I concur. However, dead or alive, these are the remains of an alien entity we never fully understood. It may be prudent to place it in a level three biohazard containment field."

He nodded at Tuvok's suggestion. "Agreed. But first I want to take a look at-"

"I'm picking up life signs." She interrupted, looking at the readings in front of her with wide eyes. "They're sporocystian."

Kathryn looked at Chakotay. "The Caretaker was a sporocystian life form."

"But according to my readings," B'Elanna continued. "the life signs aren't coming from the remains. The remains are simply resonating in response to an external energy source. Some other life form."

The Doctor frowned. "Where?"

"Let's find out." Chakotay tapped his comm. badge. "Chakotay to bridge. Harry, begin scans for a sporocystian life form."

Harry's quiet gasp could be heard over the link before her replied in the affirmative.

They all knew what this could mean for them.

"I've got it Captain!" He cried a moment later. "A Sporocystian energy burst approximately ten light years distant. I can't get a precise fix on it's location."

B'Elanna frowned at her readings again. "The life signs are gone."

"These remains could be responding to the Caretaker's mate." Kathryn couldn't think of a better explanation.

"If that's true, maybe we could use them to track her down." B'Elanna agreed.

Kathryn tried very hard to quell the burst of hope that had started and was steadily growing, but she didn't have much luck.

Chakotay was the one to voice where their thoughts had all turned. "And if we can find her she might have the ability to send us home."

***

Sighing into her bowl of coffee ice cream, Kathryn watched as subdued crew members came and went. Very few people actually stopped and sat to eat their meals, though she couldn't fault them for the general gloominess that punctuated the air of Voyager.

Maquis and Starfleet alike - though she hadn't though of them as anything other than Voyagers for almost a year now - were all feeling the disappointment.

She had been sitting alone for almost an hour now, her ice cream long since melted, feeling sorry for herself.

Chakotay had given her a full report on what had happened in engineering with Sespiria and, while he hadn't said anything, Kathryn couldn't help but let the guilt overwhelm her.

After all, it had been her decision to destroy the Caretaker's Array. Her decision to keep his remains and her decision - though he had been the one to follow through on it - to search for the Caretaker's mate in the hopes that they could get home.

She wondered if this, any of this, would have happened if Chakotay had tried to seize her ship the first time he'd beamed onto the bridge instead of cooperating with her for a day before stating his demands.

Probably not she mused dejectedly. He would have used the Array to get us home. Like I should have done.

"Kathryn?"

Looking up from her study of the patterns left in her melted ice cream by her spoon, Kathryn tried to smile but it didn't quite happen. "Kes."

"May I sit with you a moment?"

Forcing her body to rise from the position she'd been slumped in, Kathryn nodded. "Of course."

"I wanted to thank you, Kathryn."

"Thank me?" She couldn't think of a single thing she'd done that Kes could be thanking her for.

"Meeting Tanis opened my eyes to my abilities and the abilities of my people. And it reminded me that I still have a lot to learn, in slower steps." Kes explained. "I never would have known any of that if you hadn't come into this Galaxy."

Oh.

"I see."

"In fact," Kes continued. "I probably would have died in that Kazon camp without you."

And that was enough.

Kes' words validated every decision that she made during her brief Captaincy of Voyager.

If she hadn't done what she'd done, then the Kazon would have found a way down to the Ocampa and, no doubt, killed them all for sport or some other twisted game.

"You're welcome, I guess."

"I'm sorry that things didn't go as we'd hoped with Sespiria." She said quietly, touching Kathryn's arm gently as she rose from the chair and moved towards the galley.

Kathryn was amazed that, in just a few short sentences, that young woman had managed to make her feel better.

***

Stepping into the turbolift, Kathryn grinned as she pulled her leather vest on over the workout clothes that she wore. "Whatever he wants us for, it better be good." She faced the doors and instructed the computer to take them to the Bridge. "I had you right where I wanted you."

B'Elanna snorted. "What are you talking about? I was ahead, nineteen - seven."

"I was just lulling you into a false sense of security."

"Sure you were."

Kathryn nodded. "I'll win the next couple of points, then you'll start to tense up."

B'Elanna snorted. "I do not tense up."

"Easy, B'Elanna. It's only hover ball."

Smiling, Kathryn stepped out of the Turbolift and move to stand next to Chakotay as he leant against Tuvok's station. "You wanted to see us, Captain?"

"We've picked up an intriguing transmission."

"I have a source on the signal." Tuvok continued.

"A ship?" Kathryn asked, her expression hopeful.

Since the incident with Sespiria, they'd been in a relatively quiet part of space for a few weeks. While they weren't in desperate need of any supplies, some of the crew were getting restless.

If she admitted it to herself - which she didn't like to do that often - then Kathryn was getting restless too.

While she and B'Elanna had been playing a lot of hover ball lately, it wasn't enough to help curb the boredom, though it was doing some impressive things for her thigh muscles.

"It is not a Ship." Tuvok replied. "It appears to be a beacon of some kind."

"A beacon?" Chakotay repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"We are being hailed by someone using a Federation signal."

Kathryn gasped.

"How could someone be transmitting a Federation signal from the Delta Quadrant?" B'Elanna frowned.

Paris looked over from his station. "Maybe Starfleet found a way to get a probe here. Maybe they're looking for us."

"I'd like to believe that too, but let's not jump to conclusions." Kathryn replied.

"See if you can authenticate the signal."

Tuvok nodded as his fingers danced across the console before him. "The carrier wave frequency does correspond to standard Starfleet security codes."

"As of when?" And what does this mean for the structure of Voyager?

"According to the encryption key, this particular code was not scheduled for implementation until Stardate 48423."

Harry did the math first. "That's a month after we left Deep Space Nine. They must be looking for us."

Kathryn looked to Chakotay.

While his first priority was, undoubtedly, to get them back to the Alpha Quadrant, she had never really let her thoughts stray too far past getting back to the right sector.

The former Maquis were wanted criminals, each with their own plethora of charges waiting for them and commandeering a Starship - however willing she had been, Kathryn couldn't imagine Starfleet seeing that she had any other choice - would be at the top of that list.

Would he see them back to the Alpha Quadrant and then send the former Starfleet crew back to Earth with Voyager while the Maquis went and rejoined their comrades in their fight?

And, if that was what he did do, why did it make her stomach clench?

But, more than that, what if it wasn't a beacon sent by Starfleet? What if it was a trap and they were chasing after a dream that could end with their deaths?

What if she just really didn't want to know what Chakotay would do when they got 'home' and she was simply looking for reasons to object to following the signal?

Frowning, she watched for Chakotay's reply.

He nodded to the Conn. "Tom, lay in a course for the beacon."

***

When they arrived at the co-ordinates of the beacon, Kathryn wasn't all that surprised to find that there was nothing there. She was, however, just a little surprised when she felt some of the tension drain from her body.

"A Kazon raider is closing at one five eight mark nine."

Tuvok's voice confirmed one of the things she'd feared; a trap.

"Harry, hail them."

Harry shook his head. "They're not responding, Captain."

"Get us out of here, Tom."

Even as she sat behind him, Kathryn could see the tense set to Tom's shoulders.

"Warp engines are off-line, Captain."

As if on cue, the Ship rocked underneath the volley of blows that the Kazon delivered.

"Initiate evasive pattern omega three. Mister Tuvok, return fire." Chakotay snapped, gripping the arms of his chair to keep from falling.

"Aye, Captain."

Kathryn watched as phaser fire from Voyager danced across the view screen.

"Kazon ship is in pursuit."

"An opening is forming in the starboard shields, seventy two centimeters in diameter." Tuvok reported.

How is that possible? Kathryn frowned. "See if you can close it. Try rotating the shield harmonics."

The ship continued to rock underneath them as blow after blow landed across the bow.

So much for shields!

"They are continuously matching their weapons frequency to our shield frequency."

Chakotay frowned. "How the hell can they do that?"

Kathryn matched his frown and shrugged. "I don't know."

"The diameter of the opening has widened to approximately two meters."

"Set the shield harmonics to rotate continuously." She didn't have a better idea at this point.

Tuvok frowned at his console. "Diameter of the opening is now approximately four meters."

Chakotay's frowned deepened, his voice quiet. "It's as if they know our access codes."

"Captain, I am picking up a smaller vessel emerging from the hydrogen cloud. It is heading directly toward the opening in our shields." Tuvok's voice was smooth but there was an undertone of concern in there.

There is no way that this is going to go well! She tapped her comm. badge frantically. "All hands brace for impact."

The entire ship felt it and the smooth voice of the computer confirmed it. "Warning. Hull breach on deck four, Cargo Bay two."

"Structural integrity is at fifty percent and dropping. The hull is starting to buckle."

Kathryn read the display between their chairs. "We are losing life support on deck four."

"I am trying to initiate an emergency containment field." Tuvok
replied. "However, the collision has caused a power failure on deck four."

Harry worked frantically at his console. "Rerouting power to compensate."

"Containment field activated." Tuvok confirmed.

"Warning. Intruder alert in Cargo Bay two."

Kathryn scanned the life signs and met Chakotay's eyes. "The signature is Kazon."

"Tuvok!" He called.

Tuvok was already tapping his comm. badge as he moved towards the turbolift. "Tuvok to Security. Meet me outside Cargo Bay two."

"Can we go to warp yet?"

Tom shook his head. "It's no use. We're not going anywhere with that shuttle sticking out of our side. It's totally destabilizing our warp field."

Kathryn frowned at the readings on her console. "Harry, did you reroute power to Transporter Room two?"

"No, ma'am."

Chakotay leant over and read what she was seeing. "Bridge to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here."

"There may be intruders in Transporter Room two."

"I'm on my way."

They only had to wait a few moments before his voice came through again.

"Tuvok to Bridge."

"Go ahead."

"The Kazon have beamed away, Captain, and they've taken one of our transporter modules with them."

***

Kathryn frowned across the table at Chakotay. "They can't work it. The technology is incompatible."

"Maybe they took it as a trophy," He offered. "Just to prove that they could."

"But why go to such lengths to secure a useless trophy? The Kazon don't strike me as the type to value useless objects." Kathryn poked at her lunch and frowned. "Chakotay, where do you suppose Seska went?"

The Cardassian woman had beamed out of their sickbay several months ago and they'd neither seen nor heard from her since.

They'd been able to track the transport to a small but unknown cargo ship but, beyond that, they had no idea exactly where she'd gone.

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "You don't think..."

"The Kazon seemed to know our codes. And they knew how to get through our shields. I think it's possible."

Chakotay looked down at his lunch before meeting her eyes after a moment of silence. "As much as the thought pains me, I don't think I have a better answer."

Kathryn patted his hand. "We'll figure out a way to handle this."

"Torres to Chakotay."

He tapped his comm. badge. "Chakotay here."

"Can you come to engineering? I think I have a way to get our transporter module back."

Kathryn quickly packed away the remains of their lunch, nodding to him as they both exited the Ready room.

"On my way." Chakotay closed the link. "Kathryn, you have the Bridge."

***

Kathryn stared at Tuvok blankly. "What do you mean the Captain is gone?"

"He is no longer on board Voyager."

I didn't mean it quite so literally. "Where did he go?"

"It appears that the Captain has taken a small shuttle. We are unable to locate a warp signature. The modified coil scanner is also missing from engineering."

B'Elanna had modified one of their coil scanners to detect the quantum resonance oscillator that was inside of the transporter module that the Kazon - and, if they were right, Seska - had stolen.

"Is there no way that we can track him?"

Tuvok frowned. "It is unlikely."

"Started working on a way, I want options on locating him." So I can shoot him for stupidity.

Her comm. badge beeped.

"Kim to Janeway."

"Kathryn here."

"We've just located an automated message beacon. It's from the Captain."

Jumping up from behind her desk, Kathryn nodded. "On my way."

***

When she made it to the Bridge, the message was already playing on the view screen.

"...to Voyager. If this signal has been activated, it means that I have destroyed the Nistrim's transporter capabilities. Kathryn, don't put the ship or crew in further jeopardy by attempting to rescue me. It's unlikely that I'm still alive. Get them home, Kathryn. Chakotay to Voyager. If this signal has been activated..."

I'm going to kill him.

"The message appears to be authentic." Tuvok supplied.

B'Elanna frowned from the engineering console. "We've got to go get him."

"If a rescue attempt forces us to engage the Kazon, there is always a possibility that more of our technology will fall into their hands." Tuvok returned.

"I'm picking up several vessels converging on the Nistrim's location." Harry told her.

Kathryn didn't like that she had to make this decision. "My gut tells me we should go after Chakotay. But my better judgment tells me we should honor his request."

Sighing, she looked at the empty chair beside her.

That should have been her chair from the beginning but, now that he wasn't there, she knew exactly what to do.

"Resume a course for Chakotay's shuttle."

***

"I have located the Nistrim vessel on long-range sensors. Distance, .4 light years. However, they are not alone. They are now at least six other Kazon ships in the immediate vicinity."

Kathryn frowned. "I didn't think Culluh had that many ships."

Neelix stood beside her. "They must belong to enemy sects."

"That may be so." Tuvok agreed. "But the ships have not powered their weapons systems."

"What do you make of it, Neelix?"

"It's certainly unusual for rival Kazon sects to congregate peacefully." Neelix frowned. It made Kathryn nervous.

"Is it possible the Nistrim have formed an alliance with other sects?" She couldn't imagine the barbaric society that she knew banding together for anything short of... no, she couldn't imagine it at all.

Neelix, apparently, felt the same way. "I've never known the Kazon to do anything like that before."

"If the Nistrim have added six ships to their force, it would be technically unwise to engage them." Tuvok told her.

Kathryn was very OK with not getting into a shooting match with them. "Then we'll just have to find a way of getting Chakotay out of there without picking a fight.”

"We can transport him out."

Tuvok blinked at B'Elanna's proposal. "We would have to slow down once within transporter range, giving the Kazon ample time to open fire."

B'Elanna shook her head. "Not necessarily. We could beam him out at warp speed without even slowing down. The Kazon would never be able to catch us."

"That's difficult enough when both ships are traveling at warp." Harry frowned. "The Kazon ship's not even moving."

"I can compensate for that." B'Elanna shrugged.

Kathryn raised her eyebrow. "How?"

"By synchronizing the transporter's annular confinement beam to the warp core frequency."

Harry's frown deepened. "Maybe, but at a relative speed of two billion kilometers per second, it's pretty tough to get a lock on somebody."

"We would risk scrambling his transporter signal and killing him."

"Do you have a better idea?" She snapped at Tuvok. B'Elanna turned to Kathryn. "Trust me, Kathryn. I can do it."

Kathryn wanted him back more than anyone else, but she wanted him back in one piece and several billion of his molecules spread across the transporter room just wasn't going to cut it. Not for her. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I've done it before. When you're a Maquis, you don't always have the luxury of following protocols." B'Elanna raised her eyebrows.

Kathryn got the hint.

Technically, she was a Maquis now.

"Let's do it."

***

Kathryn paced the Doctors office, waiting for him to finish checking Chakotay over.

The transport had been successful and they'd managed to retrieve their slightly battered Captain. He'd been escorted to sickbay and Kathryn had entered a few moments later.

Then the Doctor had banned her from the medical bay.

Apparently she was 'disturbing.'

I'll give him something disturbing!

"Kathryn?"

Looking up at the sound of her name, Kathryn saw Chakotay standing at the entrance to the Doctor's office. "Are you OK?"

The cuts and bruises on his face were healed and he wasn't holding his ribs as he had been when she'd seen the Doctor helping him on to the biobed.

"Fine, now." He smiled before a cloud of something - Kathryn wasn't sure what - washed over his face. "You were right."

"I was?"

He nodded. "Seska."

"Oh." She wasn't sure whether to apologies or not.

"Come on, let's get back to the bridge and you can fill me in on the heroic rescue that I hear was pulled off."

***

As they stepped on to the Bridge, Tuvok looked up. "I have located an automated message beacon."

"Another one?" Kathryn wasn't sure that she could handle another message beacon. They weren't on her side today.

"It is a message to Captain Chakotay." Tuvok paused. "From Seska."

Chakotay frowned. "Put it on screen."

Seska’s face appeared on the view screen, her Cardassian face smiling evilly.

"Hello, Chakotay. Congratulations on your victory. I look forward to our next meeting. Oh, and there's something you should know. While you were unconscious, I took the liberty of extracting a sample of your DNA. I impregnated myself with it. So, I guess more congratulations are in order. You're going to be a father..."

Kathryn thought she was going to vomit.

***

While it wasn't strictly necessary for her to be there, Kathryn made her way to Sickbay with Chakotay.

After they'd watched Seska's message twice, the implications of what she'd done had started to sink in.

Chakotay, on the other hand, had been adamant that it wasn't possible.

He wanted conformation that she actually had the ability to take his DNA and impregnate herself and he wasn't going to believe it until the Doctor told him with absolute certainty that it was a medical possibility.

Entering sickbay, Chakotay called the Bridge to have them patch the message through to the Doctor's terminal and then stepped back as Seska's voice was heard once more.

The Doctor cocked his head to the side. "I can't tell you if she's pregnant or not, if that's what you were after, Captain."

"I want to know that it's possible to do what she said she did."

Kathryn kept back, listening to their discussion.

While she had little doubt that Seska was both willing and able to steal Chakotay's DNA and create a child, she was having just as much trouble coming to terms with the idea as he was.

The Doctor frowned. "Were you unconscious for a period?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm afraid it is possible."

***

"Can we hunt her down and fire a few photon torpedoes at the Kazon ship she's on?"

Kathryn shook her head as she continued reading the PADD in her hand as Chakotay paced back and forth in front of her. "Probably not."

"What about some good old-fashioned chemical warfare?"

"Might not set a good example for the crew."

"Torture?"

"Again, the crew."

"Kathryn are you even listening to me?"

She looked up from the PADD then. "You're ranting."

"And you're sitting on my sofa reading." He raised an eyebrow, moving to sit beside her. Sighing, Chakotay met her gaze. "I don't want Seska to have my child."

"I know."

"But there's nothing I can do about it, right?"

Kathryn shrugged helplessly.

If she admitted it to herself - which she wasn't really prepared to do - then she didn't like the idea of Seska having his child either, but there was little that either of them could do to change what had happened, at this point. "Not really."

"Maybe she wont come back and I wont have to think about it."

As much as she hated the idea of putting out the solitary spark of hope he'd had since they'd first watched the message... "Do you really think that she'd miss the opportunity to gloat?"

"No."

***

Kathryn opened her eyes groggily.

Where am I?

She knew that she was lying on something soft - a bed? - but that was as far as her knowledge took her.

A hazy fog of confusion had settled in and she wasn’t sure where she was or even what day it was.

The last thing she remembered was a fight with some of the Mokra as they'd been in the square trading for urgently needed tellerium, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible.

Before she had time to completely absorb her surroundings, Kathryn felt the weight of another person dip the bed lower as he sat next to her, a hand moving to her forehead.

"My little girl's awake. Just rest. You must be thirsty, maybe hungry? A little something? What shall I make, what can I make? What? What?"

Frowning in confusion, Kathryn focused on the face of the man beside her. "Where am I?"

"Oh, it hasn't been that long. I wish I had some, this will do. Take a drink."

She sipped at the cup he handed her carefully. "Thank you."

"I'll fix you some soup." A gentle hand on her shoulder urged her back down. "Now, just lie down."

Kathryn shook her head and forced her body into an upright position. "You're very kind but I have already-"

The man cut her off. "You're safe now."

"I really can't-"

"Shh. Don't worry, everything's all right now. My little girl is home."

Little girl? "I'm very grateful for everything you've done for me."

"But you know there's nothing I wouldn't do for my sweet Ralkana."

Ralkana? No... "My name is Kathryn Janeway."

The old man cocked his head to the side and smiled a little. "Kathryn. That's an unusual name. Very pretty. I like it."

"I'm from a Starship. It is very important that I contact my ship."

"Wonderful." He clapped his hands together gleefully. "Kathryn of a glorious starship. Then what happens? Well go on, I'm listening. I love your stories."

She shook her head. "It's not a story, it's a request. May I use your communications equipment?"

The old man frowned. "Communications. Oh, we're not supposed to have any of that. The Mokra don't allow it."

Kathryn knew the Mokra were a very strict race of rulers, but surely they couldn't have confiscated every form of communication available? "They can't have control of everything. Surely there's someone who has an illegal transmitter."

"I know what you'd like. Some tolsa-root soup."

Kathryn sighed. She got the feeling that the man was a few torpedoes short of a full weapons supply. "Can you at least tell me what happened to the other people I was with on the street?"

"You really should be more careful out there. Those Mokra will pick a fight for no reason." He shook his head sadly. "I don't want you getting hurt again. But I saw the way you handled that ugly one. I couldn't have done any better. I was so proud of you, Ralkana."

"My two friends. Did the Mokra take them?"

"I'm afraid so."

B'Elanna... Tuvok... "Where would they have been taken. A detention centre?"

He nodded. "The prison."

"Alright, how do I get there?"

He looked down for a moment before jumping to his feet. "The soup. I'm forgetting the soup."

Kathryn shoot her head as she rose shakily to her feet. "I appreciate your hospitality but I can't stay here. I've got to get to that prison."

"You're right." He nodded. "The time has come. Now that we're back together again we can't wait another day. My beautiful and brave girl. The Mokra won't stand a chance against us."

Kathryn gave him a small smile.

Completely 'there' or not, his heart certainly seemed to be in the right place. "You're very kind to offer, but I didn't mean we to be going together."

"You must eat and rest to get your strength back. We'll leave soon enough. We don't want to keep her waiting any longer than we have to."

Frowning, Kathryn followed behind him as he bustled about, packing a small duffle bag with apparently random items. "Keep who waiting?"

"She must miss you so terribly. It's hard to bear thinking of her alone in that dark cell. It's been difficult for all of us. Don't worry, we'll get her out. You'll see your mother again."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow. Mother?

***

She wasn't sure what, if anything, she could say to convince him that she wasn't Ralkana at this point, so Kathryn didn't try.

Eating the soup that he handed her, she sat by a window and peeked out while she waited for him to return.

He had told her that he was going to fetch some additional supplies and that she should wait.

While her head was pounding the way it was, Kathryn thought that waiting was a good idea.

The old man hadn't been gone long when he came bursting back through the door.

Kathryn jumped to her feet. "I see soldiers out there. What's happening?"

"They're everywhere," he nodded. "Searching the whole area."

Looking for me, I assume. "I don't want to cause trouble for you. I'll go as soon as its dark."

"You've always been a troublemaker, ever since you could walk. I've never seen such a willful child, but that's what I love most about you. Your spirit. Now, don't worry, when they come through here, we'll be gone already. Your mother will want some of her things." Moving to a decorated storage unit, he started rummaging through it. "Ah, a pretty dress to wear."

"They're only looking for me. You don't have to get anymore involved that you already are."

"Why, if my precious girl is involved then I am involved too. Do you remember this?" he held out a beautifully beaded necklace. "She always used to wear it on special occasions. I think today would count as one. You know what I think she would like even more is to see you wear it."

"I couldn't possibly take it." She shook her head vigorously and winced when the patch over her neck wound pulled too tight.

"Be careful. This won't heal if you move around too much."

"If you want to help, tell me about that prison. What kind of security do they have? Do they have force fields, detection grids, physical barriers?"

"Yes." He nodded. "All of it."

"What about guards?"

"Lots of guards. The Mokra make a big show of it, always bragging about how no one has ever escaped."

"Listen to me. I can't bring you to the prison with me, it's too dangerous."

He puffed out his chest. "I'm not afraid."

That's what worries me! "And that could get both of us killed. You have to stay here."

"If I stay here I can't bring the letters."

"Letters? To the prison?"

"Letters. Don't you remember how we used to write to her together? Here they are." He pulled out a stack of handwritten letters and showed them to her. "I've always known that one day I'd be able to give them to her. I never forgot her."

"These are all to your wife?" Kathryn could see each letter signed with 'all my love, Caylem' and she frowned. "How long has it been?"

"My last letter. My last letter's not - it's not here! I wrote it three days ago but it's not. I can't let her think I've stopped writing, that I gave up hope only days before. I'll write it again. My hand, my hand shakes sometimes." He held out a piece of paper and a pen of some sort. "You write it so it looks nice."

Kathryn shook her head sadly. "I'm very sorry. I have to go before the soldiers come."

"The last one. The last one was about, my memory isn't very good. Oh I remember. I went walking in the morning, it was very, very cold. I told her I wore my sweater, she worries about that sort of thing, and, and I saw they had torn down that old building where you and the other children used to play, and I told her it had rained for two and a half days. I don't know if she can see the sky where they're keeping her. And there was more. There was something about a friend I... why can't I remember? I wanted to tell her!"

Kathryn wanted so desperately to calm the poor frazzled man before her. She patted his arm. "It's all right, she'll understand."

"Yes, yes you're right. She will. Please let me come with you."

"I'm sorry, that's not-"

A sound outside the door made her pause and listen, followed by a commanding voice. "Check this one here."

Kathryn looked to Caylem, whispering urgently, "Is there another way out?"

He nodded and pulled back a piece of cloth that covered the bottom of a wall, ushering her into the tunnel.

***

Kathryn hid just inside the entrance to the prison.

Thanks to a trap set by a man supposedly in the 'resistance', she hadn't been able to procure any weapons. It made her nervous coming into a heavily guarded facility unarmed but at this point she had little choice.

Darod, the contact that Neelix had introduced her too, had confirmed that Tuvok and B'Elanna were being held in the Mokra prison and that Neelix had been beamed back to Voyager.

She wasn't sure why he had sent a Mokra after her - perhaps it hadn't even been him - but she didn't have time to question that now.

Caylem had saved her from a Mokra soldier in the square, using the oddities of his personality to distract them until she could slip into the darkness to meet Darod. After that, she'd had little way of convincing him not to follow her and he lurked in the shadows to her right, hiding until she gave a signal.

Without the aid of weapons, she'd had to get a little more creative with her entrance.

The plunging neckline of her dress - after she'd adjusted it - showed just enough cleavage. Now sporting a hand-made thigh-high split and a long sparkly scarf around her neck, Kathryn had pulled her hair from it's customary braid and let it hang down her back.

Listening to the guards, she heard one say that he was going to take a nap until the Lieutenant showed up.

Taking that as her cue, Kathryn turned into the light and walked towards him, adding more of a swing to her hips and pushing her right leg forward in order to show off the amount of thigh on offer.

The guard frowned. "You girls aren't supposed to come down here any more."

Running a hand along his chest, Kathryn looked up at him through her eyelashes and pouted a little. "Do you want me to leave?"

"I didn't say that."

The Guard smiled and she was glad that she'd have the opportunity to see him unconscious soon. "Then I won't."

"If my Lieutenant saw you here I'd be in trouble..."

Why can't you be like every other man and just think with your penis? "Nobody will see us back here." She started walking backwards into the shadows and, without prompting, he followed. "It's dark, private."

The guard pushed her against the wall, his body flush against hers.

Kathryn tired to breathe as the wind was knocked out of her when he slumped forward under the blow from Caylem's hit.

Pushing him off her, Kathryn bent down and retrieved the fallen weapon. Looking up, she smiled at Caylem before shooting the other guard that had come to investigate where his friend had gotten to.

Probably to watch, as well. She snorted quietly to herself.

"We're ready to go."

Rising, Kathryn shook her head. "You're not coming with me."

"Of course I am. We settled this! You told that man, Darod, how I saved you from the Mokra!"

Disabling the force field, Kathryn stepped into the cave system that was the Mokra prison before re-activating the force field. "You did save me. Now I'm returning the favor."

Turning, she ran towards the cells, ignoring his cries from the other side of the force field.

"Ralkana! No!"

***

She was searching the cells when she ran into Darod. Literally.

Steadying herself, Kathryn nodded her greeting. "Darod. I'm looking for my people."

"This way, quickly. I'll show you."

Following him, they went down a long tunnel, making turns here and there as they passed cells.

Some were empty, some weren't, but the prisoners didn't seem interested in the strangers.

As they turner another corner, Kathryn heard a noise.

Swinging around the bend with her weapon drawn, she took a defensive stand and was poised to shoot. "Don't move!"

"There you are!"

Caylem! "What are you doing here?"

Moving closer to her, Caylem cupped her cheek. "I will do everything in my power to protect my only child."

We don't have time for this! "Come on," She urged, following Darod until they reached the cell with Tuvok and B'Elanna.

B'Elanna was the first to spot her. "Kathryn!"

Disabling the force field, she stepped into the cell and gasped at the wounds that littered Tuvok's face. "We've got to get you back to the ship. You're hurt."

A hand touched her arm. "Ralkana, the other cells are this way. We must find your mother."

Sighing, Kathryn looked between her friends and Caylem. Making her decision quickly, she tilted her head in the direction she'd come from before addressing B'Elanna as she stood on her feet, keeping Tuvok steady. "Follow this passageway until it dead-ends. Then you'll see a smaller passageway."

The other woman frowned. "What are you doing?"

"There's one more person I have to find."

Darod shot her an urgent look from his position in the doorway. "Guards!"

As they turned to leave, one of the Guards - Kathryn recognized him from the incident in the market - stepped out from the shadows. "After all that time I spent looking for you, all I had to do was wait here." He nodded. "I must say, I'm impressed Caylem. You never made it this far before. Every so often he goes on one of his missions to rescue his wife. She's been dead for twelve years."

Caylem shook his head. "Lies, lies, lies!"

"Sometimes he gets all the way up to the front gate. We send him on his way and allow him to serve as a reminder of just how futile it is to challenge us. I thought you'd learnt that lesson when you lost your daughter. She made it as far as the tunnels before she was shot." The guard was taking a lot of pleasure from watching the horror that spread quickly across Caylem's face.

"No."

"So much tragedy for one man to bear. And now your foolishness has condemned another innocent woman. Take the others back for questioning. I'll interrogate this one myself."

Pushing himself at the guard, Caylem stepped between Kathryn and the armed man.

"No! I won't let you hurt her!"

The shot was fired quickly and Kathryn watched, helplessly, as he slumped to the ground. "Caylem!"

She didn’t pay attention as B'Elanna and Darod took care of the guards.

Leaning down, she knelt over Caylem, cupping his face in her hands.

"Ralkana. He said you'd been shot."

She couldn't let him go to his death with that thought in his mind, no matter how much she didn't want to lie to him. "He was lying to you, father. I'm all right."

"And your mother?"

"Fine. She was so happy to get your letters. She wants me to tell you something. She forgives you. We both do."

"My sweet girl." His eyes closed just as she felt the haze of the transporter wash over her.

"Kathryn?"

She stood up from her crouched position at the sound of Chakotay's voice, checking the transporter pad to ensure that both B'Elanna and Tuvok had made it out with her.

Nodding, Kathryn stepped down off the pad.

Chakotay raised an eyebrow at her attire but didn't say anything.

***

Kathryn sat at her desk, the delicate necklace clutched tightly in her hand.

She sighed as she examined the beads, a twisted knot of sadness sitting low in her belly.

For all of his less than intelligent decisions, Caylem had just been a man trying to find his wife and daughter.

The look on the Guard's face as he spoke of their deaths haunted her and Kathryn shuddered, blinking back tears.

When the chime on her door rang, she was unsurprised.

"Come."

"Kath... I... er..." Harry stumbled.

Kathryn couldn't help but smile.

Still, to this day, the amount of times he'd managed to call her by name were countable on one hand. "What's up Harry?"

"I have the operations report on your rescue."

Taking the PADD he held out, she scanned it quickly before nodding. "Thanks."

Harry watched her for a long moment, a frown on his face. "Are you OK, Kathryn?"

She smiled.

For a kid that had been thrown in to the deep end on his first mission, Harry was still an incredibly sweet young man. "I will be."

***

Finally making her way out of the bath tub, Kathryn pulled a robe around herself and ordered a coffee.

Her intentions for the night didn't really go beyond coffee and reading a report that Tom and B'Elanna had submitted to Chakotay about crossing the warp threshold.

The beaded necklace from Caylem hung from the corner of a picture that she had hanging and Kathryn ran her fingers lightly over it as she passed.

It had been over a week since the incident with in the Mokra prison, but she still felt a knot in her stomach form whenever she thought of the sweet old man.

Before they'd beamed out, Darod had promised her that no one would forget what Caylem had done for them and it didn't help the sense of guilt she carried, but it made it a little easier to sleep at night.

Kathryn could hear movement next door and a quick glance at the chronometer confirmed that Chakotay should be off duty by now.

She was tempted to call him and invite him over for coffee - though at this hour it was more likely to be laced with something with a little more kick from the replicator - but thought better of it.

Retrieving her steaming cup, Kathryn moved to the sofa and began to read the report.

***

Chakotay grinned as he slid into the seat next to her. "They did it."

"Who?"

"Tom, Harry and B'Elanna. Voyagers Three Musketeers. They were able to run a successful simulation on crossing the transwarp threshold. I thought it was more of a fantasy than a theory."

Kathryn was impressed. For three people that started out in opposing corners of the ship, they certainly worked well together. "Are you going to let them do a manned flight?"

Chakotay nodded and picked at the food on his tray. "Tom will bring the shuttle up to speed. The second he crosses the threshold, he'll cut the engines, drop out of warp and come about. After that, we'll analyze the shuttle's sensor logs. Once we know it's safe to travel at transwarp, we'll try a more extended flight."

"It's almost frightening. Up till now, it's all been theory. I never thought it would actually happen. Are we ready for it?"

Chakotay shrugged. "It could get us home in a few months as opposed to over seventy years. Even with the time we've already managed to shave off our journey, surely you of all people would jump at this chance."

Kathryn wanted to ask, exactly, what he meant by 'you of all people' but thought better of it before she could actually voice the question. "In the last couple of centuries, we've always managed to use new technologies wisely. I'm confident this time won't be any different. Besides, there's no way to put the genie back in the bottle. All we can do now is keep moving forward, carefully. If this works, Tom will be joining an elite group of pilots. Orville Wright, Neil Armstrong, Zefram Cochrane and Tom Paris."

Chakotay grinned. "I'm sure he'll love that."

***

Holding Naomi Wildman in her arms, Kathryn paced back and forth in a desperate attempt calm the crying child. "Come on, Naomi. Mommy will be back soon."

Samantha had been called to her station to assist with the pre-flight preparations and Kathryn, who'd been with her at the time of the call, had been roped in as the last minute baby sitter for ten minutes before she headed to the bridge.

Eight-month old Naomi's tears stopped with the more she continued to pace and rock and jiggle. "See? it's not so bad."

The baby laid her head sleepily against Kathryn's shoulder, worn out from the energy of crying.

"I never figured you for the baby type."

Kathryn turned and rolled her eyes as Chakotay leant against the door frame, watching her with an amused smile as she continued her pacing. "I am a woman, you know."

"I've noticed."

She wasn't touching that one with a ten foot barge pole. "Samantha is on the Bridge."

"I know. We're almost ready to launch..."

Chakotay, apparently, was going to let the comment go too.

"Sam will be back in a moment and I'll meet you on the bridge."

He nodded and paused for a moment. "Kathryn?"

"Yes?"

Cocking his head to the side, a soft smile on his face, Chakotay nodded once. "You look good like that."

***

"Torres to Bridge. The pre-launch sequence is complete, Captain."

"Acknowledged." Chakotay looked back at Harry. "Harry, depressurize the shuttle bay and open the space doors."

Kathryn tapped her comm. badge. "Bridge to Shuttlecraft Cochrane. You're cleared for launch."

"See you at warp ten."

She could hear the excitement in Tom's voice and a moment later she could see the shuttle on the view screen.

"Cochrane to Voyager. All systems are nominal. I'm increasing speed."

Chakotay nodded. "We'll keep up with you as long as we can."

"Warp seven, warp eight..."

Everyone held their breath as they waited to hear his continued count.

"Warp nine point seven, nine point eight, nine point nine."

"He's exceeding our maximum velocity. I'm switching to long-range sensors." Tuvok switched the image on the view screen.

"Warp nine point nine five! Engine output at maximum." He paused and Kathryn thought it quite possible that no one on Voyager moved for a good thirty seconds. "Velocity, warp ten."

"Yes!"

The exclamation came from Harry, but it was an echoed sentiment.

"Transwarp engines are stable. So are the nacelle pylons. I'm going to-"

Chakotay frowned. "Tom, can you hear me?"

"Captain, he just disappeared off sensors." Harry's voice had changed from excitement to concern in a heartbeat.

"Increase sensor gain to maximum." Kathryn called.

"Nothing. I can't find him. He's gone."

***

"He could be anywhere."

"I know." Kathryn nodded. "But we can search our little corner of the galaxy and hope for the best."

Chakotay leant back in the chair behind his desk. "And if we don't find him?"

Tuvok's voice over the comm. interrupted whatever reply Kathryn had been forming. "Captain, there's a quantum surge off the port bow. Something is coming out of subspace."

Both of them were immediately on their feet and on the Bridge a moment later and Kathryn let out a long breath at the sight of the Shuttle on the view screen.

"Chakotay to Paris."

Harry shook his head. "He's alive. But his life signs are weak."

"Bridge to Transporter Room Two. Beam Mister Paris directly to Sickbay. Kathryn, bring the shuttle aboard. I'll be in Sickbay."

Chakotay made his way to the turbolift as she nodded. "Aye, Captain."

***

Chakotay handed her a PADD. "He's fine."

"Good." Kathryn looked at the PADD in her hand. "What's this?"

"We downloaded the shuttle's sensors. This data describes literally every cubic centimeter in this sector. It's over five billion gigaquads of information. I've downloaded the abridged version for you."

Kathryn gasped. "It would appear that the theory of infinite velocity is correct. It may be possible to occupy every point in the universe simultaneously." Tapping the PADD against her chin, Kathryn smiled. "Then it's just a matter of navigation. If we could figure out how to come out of transwarp at a specific point, this could get us home."

Chakotay nodded. "We can use it to make a star chart. I'll transfer the shuttle logs to Stellar Cartography for analysis."

***

Kathryn sat in her Quarters as she read through the Doctor's report.

Apparently, Tom had collapsed in the mess hall after consuming a new beverage that Neelix had named after him. Wanting to be ill after a meal from Neelix wasn't uncommon, but physically collapsing was certainly a first.

According to the report, the Doctor didn't know how it was possible, but it appeared that Tom’s entire biochemistry was changing. His electrolytes were breaking down, interstitial fluids were congealing. The alveoli in his lungs were mutating.

In short, he was no longer processing oxygen.

They had erected an isolation field around the surgical bay and removed all of the air, replacing it with a nitrogen/acidichloride combination that appeared to be keeping him alive.

Sighing, Kathryn rubbed at her tense neck.

While everyone was glad that they'd been able to achieve warp 10 - and there wasn't a person on-board who didn't know what that could mean for them - she had no doubts that they'd all rather have a healthy Tom Paris.

Though a better sense of humor wouldn't go astray.

***

"He's body is going through some sort of mutation. His DNA is rewriting itself. To what end, I don't know." The Doctor told her as Kathryn stood in Sickbay the next morning.

"Does this have anything to do with the enzymatic imbalance you found?"

"No."

"Can you stop it?"

"So far, nothing has worked. The mutations are unlike anything in Starfleet medical records. His internal organs are being rearranged. Some have atrophied and been absorbed into his body, and there are at least three others that have appeared and have no identifiable function at all."

"What about his brain?"

"There are neuroelectrical transmutations at work. His synaptic patterns are changing almost every second. But he does still recognize me, the ship. He knows who he is."

"Can I talk to him?"

"Of course. But I feel I should caution you that while he still is Tom Paris, he's becoming something else as well. His personality is erratic, unpredictable. There are moments of lucidity interspersed with almost deranged behavior."

Kathryn nodded and steeled herself. "I'll keep it in mind."

***

After her less than successful conversation with Tom - who had accused her of everything from lying to screwing the Captain - Kathryn made her way back to the Bridge.

B'Elanna had been working on a way to stop the mutation of his body and they were ready to try an isotopic restraint and then infuse it with controlled anti-proton bursts in the hopes that they could kill off his new DNA and force it to revert back to the original coding.

They would need to have to take the warp core off-line, then B'Elanna had quoted about three hours to set up an interface. To which the Doctor had replied that they had an hour before there'd been nothing left of Tom to see, let alone save.

Sinking into her chair, Kathryn made a great attempt at looking over something on the console between the chairs.

"Neelix's recipe corner?" Chakotay asked, watching the displays that she was bringing up.

Kathryn didn't look up. "Keeping myself occupied."

"And reading about the 1001 uses of Leola root is helping with that?"

"Not really."

"Torres to bridge."

Kathryn sat up straight as Chakotay tapped his comm. badge. "Bridge here."

"The interface is charged and ready."

Everyone waited, holding their breaths as B'Elanna set to work.

"Chakotay to Engineering," They could all hear some kind of commotion and Chakotay frowned. "How is it going down there?"

"Paris broke out of confinement!"

"Tuvok to security teams, meet me in engineering."

Chakotay nodded to Kathryn. "Get down there."

Tuvok was already holding the door for her when Kathryn stepped into the turbolift.

When they arrived, Kathryn tapped her comm. badge as the lights in the corridor flickered off and the glow or emergency lighting came on. "Kathryn to Chakotay."

"He used a phaser on the port plasma conduit. We have power failures all over the ship."

"Where is he now?"

"We're having trouble tracking him. We can't get power to the internal sensors."

Tuvok turned to his security team as they arrive. "We will search deck by deck for Mister Paris."

Kathryn nodded as they turned and moved back down the corridor to begin their search.

She was about to return to the bridge when a sharp pain hit her and then the world went black.

***

Though she didn't have a name any more, she did have desire.

Her body was telling her to reproduce and she moved to her mate, letting her large tongue shoot out an initiate contact.

***

Kathryn frowned as she sat on the biobed in sickbay wearing a gown.

"I've eradicated all traces of the mutant DNA from your system and restored your original genome. Congratulations. You're human again."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"It’ll take some time for your genetic codes to stabilize." He continued, scanning her for the thousandth time of the hour. "I'd like you to remain in Sickbay for the next three days, just to be safe."

She nodded distractedly and moved over to the other biobed where Tom sat.

"Er..."

"I've thought about having children, but I must say I never considered having them with you."

"I'm sorry. I, I don't know what to say except I don't remember very much about, er, you know."

"What makes you think it was your idea? Sometimes it's the female of the species that initiates mating." She had some pretty disturbing memories about it. "But apology accepted, nonetheless."

"Thanks."

Kathryn frowned. He didn't look particularly thrilled about being human again. "Is there something wrong, Tom?"

"I don't know. I guess this whole experience has left me feeling a little overwhelmed. Flying at warp ten, evolving into a new life form, mating, having alien offspring."

Not bad for a forty-eight hour period, she certainly gave him points for that. "You've broken more than one record, that's for sure."

"Breaking the threshold, it was incredible. But somehow it doesn't mean as much as I thought it would."

"Oh?"

"I guess I went into this looking for a quick fix. I thought making history would change things, not just my service record, my reputation."

Kathryn wished that she could make him understand exactly how worried his shipmates had been when his body had first begun rejecting oxygen. "If I'm not mistaken, you've changed quite a few minds on this ship. You've earned a lot of people's respect and admiration."

"Yeah. But I'm starting to realize that it's not other people's opinions I should be worried about. It's mine. It seems, that I still have a few barriers to break. I just hope they're not theoretical impossibilities."

Kathryn smiled as she moved back to her own bed. "Somehow, I don't think they will be."

***

Crawling into her own bed had never been appreciated by Kathryn more than it was right now.

After three days of lying flat on her back and being scanned every hour, the Doctor had finally released her under the condition that she stayed in her own bed save for bathroom and replicator trips for the next day.

Kathryn suspected that it was mostly an order for her to just catch up on sleep more than any medical reason for her to remain in bed, but since she had a particularly trashy novel awaiting her - Thank you, B'Elanna! - she wasn't going to argue.

Making herself comfortable, Kathryn picked up the PADD and began reading a tale about a particularly diminutive slave girl that was sold to a powerful, yet attractive, King.

***

She was half way through the third round of amazing sex between the slave and the king - all within twenty or so pages; Kathryn was impressed - when the chime on her door rang.

Since it wasn't a bathroom or replicator run, Kathryn had a feeling that the Doctor wouldn't approve.

Making sure that she wasn't going to be showing her guest more than they needed to see, she called out for them to enter.

"Kathryn?"

"Bedroom!"

A tray of food was the first thing to make its appearance, followed by an arm and, eventually, a body that belonged to none other than the Captain.

Kathryn smiled from her place in the bed, propped up by pillows. "Neelix make you his new waitress?"

"You're ill. Really, Kathryn, I wouldn't bring Neelix's food to an ill patient."

Now she was a little more interested in what was on the tray. "What did you bring me, then?"

He moved further into the room and presented her with the tray at her eye-level. "Coffee ice cream."

Kathryn didn't think she'd ever liked anyone as much as she liked Chakotay right now. "Have I ever told you what a wonderful man you are?"

"No. But I'm prepared for you to tell me now."

Poking her tongue out at him - and Starfleet would never have tolerated that from the XO - Kathryn moved her book to the side and took the tray. "Use your imagination."

"So how are you feeling?" Chakotay asked, perching himself on the edge of the bed.

"Not bad."

"Really?"

Kathryn raised her eyebrow and spoke around the spoon as she consumed the ice cream. "Should I not be?"

"Well, you did just give birth..." He raised a hand. "Ah, if you hit me I wont bring you anymore ice cream."

She frowned and lowered her hand. "That's bribery."

"But it works."

Kathryn couldn't argue with that.

***

Following her 'interesting' - for lack of any other term - experience as a highly evolved lizard having Tom Paris' babies - a sentence that she never wanted to think again. Ever. - Kathryn was looking forward to a quiet few weeks in Space.

Which meant, as B'Elanna had told her, that she was delusional.

Kathryn had only been back at work for a day when the problems with Lon Suder started.

She wasn't directly involved, but she heard enough from Chakotay to be grateful that it wasn't her responsibility. While, as First Office, she was in charge of personnel problems, it was the Captain's responsibility to handle the more dangerous members of the crew.

Chakotay had allowed Tuvok to mind meld with Suder in order to discover why he'd killed Darwin, but all that it had achieved was giving Suder some peace while turning Tuvok into an unpredictable and accurate killing machine.

Kathryn had seen the holodeck program that Tuvok ran and it made her shiver to see him strangle Neelix. Even thinking about it left her with chills and a bad taste in her mouth.

When she had found out about the adverse affects of the mind meld, she'd gone to see her old friend in sickbay, only to have him tell her how disgusting she and all humans were.

His verbal attacks had left her with tears in her eyes as she stood tall and tried to convince herself that it wasn't really him.

It had taken neuro-synaptic treatment - which they'd had to force on him anyway - before Tuvok was back to normal.

As she sat in her office, Tuvok across from her, Kathryn wondered if he actually was 'back to normal' or just simply hiding the violent tendencies that she knew he'd inherited.

The Doctor had given him the all clear and she had no choice at this point but to trust that, regardless of the knot in her stomach.

"I must apologize for my inappropriate behavior."

"I'm just glad we have you back, Tuvok." She was, she really was, but Kathryn had a feeling that it would take her a while to completely move past the shiver of fear she'd felt at the look of hatred in his eyes.

"I was most insulting to you."

Kathryn shrugged and tried her best to smile. "Don't worry about it. I've been insulted before."

"I hope you understand that I have always had the greatest respect for you as a person and consider you a friend."

It was an extremely rare to hear Tuvok say such an emotional thing and Kathryn immediately felt her doubt passing. "That means a great deal to me. Enough said. Tuvok, no more mind melds without the Captain's permission. Understood?"

Tuvok nodded once. "I believe that would be a wise decision."

Kathryn smiled. "Good. Now that that's sorted, would you like to get some dinner, old friend?"

***

Ringing on the chime before her, Kathryn stepped back as she held the crochet blanket in her hand.

When the doors slid open, she stepped in and smiled at the array of toys that littered Samantha Wildman's Quarters.

The woman herself was on the sofa as she nursed Naomi.

"Would you like me to come back later?" Kathryn asked.

Sam shook her head and smiled. "Not at all. Come in."

"I just wanted to give you this." Kathryn unfolded the blanket and showed the other woman the finished product. "Sorry it's taken me so long."

"It's beautiful, Kathryn. Thank you!"

She smiled. "Anytime."

Pulling the baby from her breast, Sam readjusted her shirt and handed Naomi to Kathryn. "Can you burp her?"

Kathryn had done it before, so she took the blanket that Sam handed her and covered her shoulder, before positioning Naomi and beginning to rub her back in soothing circles, smiling when she burped. "How are you coping, Sam?"

"Well." She smiled. "I'm exhausted, but it's all worth it."

"I can't believe she's eight months old already."

"Me either!" Sam laughed when Naomi let out a rather large burp. "Actually, there was something that I wanted to ask you."

"What?"

"I've asked Neelix to be her Godfather and I was wondering if you would be her Godmother?"

"Oh." Tears pricked at Kathryn's eyes. "I'd be honored."

"Good." Sam smiled. "I wasn't thinking of anything formal. I just want her to grow up knowing that she has people that she can turn to."

With the baby secured in her arms, Kathryn nodded.

***

Quinn.

He was certainly one of the most interesting characters that Kathryn had ever met.

A Q requesting asylum from the Voyagers was strange all on its own but a Q that wanted to die was certainly a first.

Kathryn manned the bridge as the trial went on and Chakotay had met with her twice in the day already to discuss what an 'interesting' - Though his word was strange - proceeding it had been.

Apparently, they'd had everyone from Isaac Newton to Will Riker in that 'courtroom' and Kathryn couldn’t' honestly say that she wanted to be part of it.

Q had popped up - literally - when she'd been in the mess hall, requesting tips on how to win the Captain over, before looking her over and declaring that she was a 'reasonable specimen for a biped'. Kathryn had told him to go to hell.

"How long is this going to take?" Tom asked from the helm.

"I don't know." Kathryn admitted. "I think Chakotay is deliberating the decision now while Q and Quinn do... whatever it is that they do to pass the time."

"Do you think Chakotay will let Quinn die?"

Kathryn didn't know that either and she was reluctant to speculate.

As a Starfleet Captain, it would have been frowned upon to let Quinn commit suicide but since it wasn't her decision and she'd never actually asked Chakotay about his opinion on suicide - though given his peaceful heritage, she could imagine. She knew that he hated killing regardless of the circumstances - and she had to admit that she was glad it wasn't her behind the judge's desk in that room.

"I think the Captain is too honorable for that." Harry offered.

Tom made a crack about how Chakotay actually came to be their Captain, but Kathryn didn’t hear it.

While she agreed with Harry about Chakotay being an honorable man - regardless of how he’d come to Captain Voyager - there was still a possibility that Quinn's argument 'for' would outweigh Q's for 'against.'

"We don't know all of the facts; I think it's too hard for us to speculate." Kathryn finally answered as the doors slid open.

Chakotay entered the bridge and sat down.

Raising her eyebrow in question, Kathryn waited for him to speak.

"I've decided to grant Quinn's request."

Kathryn gasped. "You're going to let him die?"

"I'm going to let him become human." Chakotay corrected. "I've also offered him a place on Voyager, but..."

"He won't take it."

"I don't think he will."

Frowning, Kathryn bit the inside of her cheek. "Why did you grant his request when you know what he'd do?"

"It seemed too cruel to let him live on forever when he has clearly done everything that he wanted to do. Could you imagine living your life and knowing that it would never end?"

For as much as she liked her life - or was content, in some cases - Kathryn couldn't imagine it being a permanent thing. 'Half the fun in life', her father had always said, 'is not knowing when it's going to end.'

Finally shaking her head, Kathryn smiled at him. "I agree with your decision."

"Good. Because up until thirty second ago, I was beginning to doubt it."

***

Kathryn was concerned about Tom.

His behavior had gone from comical to downright disrespectful.

She knew that things were different on a Maquis Ship - thought she admitted that she was still trying to learn everything - but they still expected respect.

In the last week, he'd been late for duty shifts, setting up still's in the cargo bay, running gambling operations in the holodeck... the list went on.

She'd try to talk to him but it seemed he'd finally found the Maquis in him and all but told her to piss off.

As much as Kathryn wanted to take the issue to Chakotay, part of her felt responsible for Tom Paris.

She was the one that had fought - begged - to have him released from prison for their initial mission. Her last act as Captain had been giving him a field commission and, damnit, she'd known him when he was walking around in diapers.

Sighing, Kathryn filed the latest report on his behavior.

"What am I going to do with you, Tom?" She asked no one in particular.

***

"How's the Doc holding up?" Chakotay handed her the salad as he asked.

Kathryn tried to formulate a reply.

After the Doctor's recent experience with Danara Pel and his first 'love interest', having to send her away had hurt him deeply. Kathryn was never anything short of amazed when she talked to Doctor. For an obsolete program, he made leaps and bounds towards humanity that she hadn't seen in some 'real' people.

"He's learning what it means to be heartbroken." She finally replied.

"And Tuvok?"

Following the Doctor's love affair had been their rather disastrous away mission that had resulted in 'Tuvix' and a divided crew. While beaming back to the ship, Tuvok and Neelix had become one being.

Kathryn still wasn't sure about the decision to separate them. As much as she loved her old friend and as much as she had grown to love Neelix, Tuvix had become part of the crew in such a short time.

All in all, it had been a pretty crap few weeks.

Even more so for Tuvok who, after an appropriate amount of recovering had found himself stranded on a planet with several children who were awaiting their 'deaths.'

While she had sought Tuvok out and offered him an ear, he had simply replied that in the first incident, Chakotay had made a logical choice and in the second case, it would have been illogical to interfere with another culture's natural lifespan.

"Tuvok is handling things as any Vulcan would-"

"Logically." The finished together.

"And the First Officer?"

Kathryn's own experience with 'Fear' in the Kohl 'fantasy land' had left her shaken and just a little curious about the true nature of fear.

While they had rescued the survivors from stasis, Kathryn still wasn't sure if her resounding nightmares made the mission a success or not.

"She's doing fine."

"Great." Chakotay held up his wine glass in salute. "Now how is she really doing?"

"She's having trouble sleeping," Kathryn admitted. "But she'll be fine."

"Does she get any kind of complex talking about herself in the third person?"

Kathryn laughed for the first time in weeks.

***

Opening her eyes, Kathryn frowned as she looked up into the bright sky.

It was distorted somehow and it took her a moment to recognize the stasis chamber for what it was. Turning her head to the right, she looked across and saw Chakotay in a similar position.

Pushing the hatch back, she frowned at the lush greenery around her and the large Starfleet containers.

"Sickbay to the Captain. This is the Doctor speaking."

Chakotay tapped his comm. badge. "You've brought us out of stasis. I assume you have news."

"Yes. Our sensors show your vital signs are normal. How are you feeling?"

Looking to Kathryn, Chakotay raised an eyebrow. She nodded. "We're fine. How long were we in stasis?"

"A total of seventeen days."

"That long?"

"I wanted to exhaust every possibility of finding a cure."

"And?"

Kathryn held her breath.

"I regret to inform you that I have been unsuccessful in finding a cure for the virus."

They shared a look as they sat in their stasis chambers and wondered exactly what that would mean for their future. Chakotay listened to the Doctor's suggestion and closed the link, climbing out of his stasis chamber as Kathryn followed suit.

She frowned at the large boxes and turned to him. "What do you think?"

"It's risky. The Vidiians have never shown any willingness to help us. It's more likely they'd attack Voyager and try to harvest body parts from the crew."

Yeah, that was pretty much her theory too. "Agreed." She frowned. "Could we live with ourselves knowing we sent Voyager into that kind of danger?"

They both knew the answer to that one.

"Chakotay to Tuvok."

"I'm here, Captain."

"You must be aware of the Doctor's report."

"Yes."

"I'm turning over command of the ship to you on a permanent basis. Your orders are to resume a course for the Alpha Quadrant. And regardless of the Doctor's suggestion, you are not to make contact with the Vidiians."

"I understand."

"We'll prepare a message for the crew." Closing the link again, Chakotay turned to face her. "I guess that's it."

Kathryn didn't know exactly what to say. "I suppose so."

***

"Two months." Kathryn said as she twiddled the old fashioned pen between her fingers.

Chakotay looked up from his book and frowned. "What?"

"We've been on New Earth for exactly two months today." Kathryn replied.

They'd been there two months and, in that time, had dodged a particularly brutal plasma storm that subsequently meant the loss of her research equipment, adopted a stray monkey, built a reasonably respectable house and added a few touches here and there.

Chakotay had made her a bath tub - and she'd been ready to offer to marry him and have his children for that, despite the rather awkward moment they'd shared when he'd caught her in a towel - and then moved on to making them nicer furniture, including the swinging seat that they sat on.

Life was peaceful here and she spent her days tending to the little garden that she'd set up while Chakotay worked on various projects.

She missed Voyager, though.

Despite the fact that she had been a Starfleet Captain sent out to capture a terrorist and ended up XO to said terrorist, Kathryn had grown to really like her life. It wasn't what it could have been, certainly, but it was enough for her and now they were stranded on a planet, the only two people around.

There was also the problem of her ever-growing attraction to the man beside her.

She'd been aware of his good looks since the beginning - though his charm had taken a while to get to her - and the incident with the Bothan 'delusion' that she'd had certainly hadn’t helped to curb her desires. She had woken from many a dream of them, together, on every imaginable - and some she had thought impractical - position and place on the ship.

"It feels longer." Chakotay finally admitted, breaking her thoughts.

Kathryn shook the image of him naked and aroused from her mind. "Should I be offended?"

"Never, Kathryn. You're the good part of life here."

Turning to face him, she smiled. "That's possibly the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me."

While she expected a humorous response, she didn't expect his lips to touch hers.

Eyes widened, Kathryn froze.

It wasn't really much of a kiss, but their lips were pressed together and when she felt his tongue poke out to trace her bottom lip, she knew that it had to stop there.

She pulled back from his lips and watched as he breathed out and opened his eyes.

Frowning at him, Kathryn blinked.

Chakotay didn't say anything as she turned and went back into their shelter, her face hot despite the cool night air.

She may have put his picture away long ago, she may have accepted that he'd moved on with his life, and she may have been dreaming of another man but Kathryn couldn't get Mark's face out of her mind when she slipped into bed.

***

Staring at the ceiling was getting her no where.

Desire hummed through her body and she hated herself for it because nothing had really happened on the porch and yet, there she was, over two hours later and wide-awake, her mind racing faster than Voyager at top-speed.

Sighing, she pushed the covers back and rose.

Taking a quick glance at herself in the mirror, she frowned at the image of herself in the long grey nightgown but moved out into the living room anyway.

Chakotay was working on his sand paintings when she came out and he looked up as she padded across to sit opposite him.

"We have to talk about this." She told him, lacing her fingers together and resting them atop of the table.

"All right."

"I think we need to define some... parameters" There was a good word given their previous status on Voyager "about us."

"I want you." Chakotay shrugged. "I don't need parameters for that."

"You're the Captain."

"Do you see a Ship around?"

"Doesn't mean you're not the Captain." She returned automatically.

"Voyager was you ship." He reminded her.

"And you wanted it."

"Would this conversation be different if I hadn't?"

Kathryn suspected that Chakotay had always assumed that she harbored more resentment over their 'deal' then she actually did.

Once or twice in her life, Kathryn had been accused of being smart and giving him Voyager had been the smart thing to do, regardless of her own personal feelings towards it.

"No."

"Kathryn," Chakotay sighed. "If you don't want me, say so and this will never come up again."

"I'm the only woman on this planet." She pointed out.

Who else was he going to pursue if not her?

The monkey?

"I've wanted you for two years."

She huffed. "You've only known me two years."

"And what does that tell you?"

"Oh." She frowned. "Why now, then?"

"You were engaged, I believe."

He had a point. "I haven't actually called that off, you know."

"Because you can't or you don't want to?"

Kathryn had to admit that it was more about the fact that she couldn't contact Mark more than anything else.

He crept into her thoughts every now and then - and he certainly had earlier in the evening - but his place in her heart was now in the category clearly labeled 'friendship.'

"Look, I'm not sure I can define parameters. But I can tell you a story, an ancient legend among my people. It's about an angry warrior who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe, a man who couldn't find peace, even with the help of his spirit guide. For years, he struggled with his discontent. But the only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in battle. This made him a hero among his tribe, but the warrior still longed for peace within himself. One day he and his war party were captured by a neighboring tribe led by a woman warrior. She called on him to join her because her tribe was too small and weak to defend itself from all its enemies. The woman warrior was brave and beautiful and very wise. The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on, her needs would come first. And in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace."

It was probably the most beautiful thing that she'd ever heard. It was also probably a bunch of crap, but that didn't matter. "Is that really an ancient legend?"

Chakotay grinned. "No. But that made it easier to say."

Tentatively holding her hand up, Kathryn gave him a watery smile when he laced their fingers together, his thumb stroking her skin.

A tear slid down her cheek but she smiled anyway.

***

They hadn't actually discussed anything more than night, but sitting at the table holding hands for an hour seemed to have meant something.

Kathryn thought that they may actually be dating.

Which was odd.

Chakotay gave her fresh-picked flowers, rubbed her neck when she worked too hard, kissed her cheek and often found an excuse to touch her. Especially her hair.

She wasn't surprised when she felt a hand stoke her hair before lips kissed the top of her head. "Having fun?"

Her hands were covered in dirt, she looked terrible and she was pretty sure there was a bug crawling up her leg, but Kathryn couldn't honestly think of a time when she'd been happier.

Moving the dirt around her tomato bushes, she sipped at her coffee and smiled. "I am, actually."

"How are they coming?" His hand stroked the small of her back.

"Very nicely. We should have vine-ripened Talaxian tomatoes in a couple of months, unless this planet has the equivalent of tomato bugs. Oh, they're awful."

"I would never have thought of you as a gardener."

"I grew up around farmers. My parents insisted we learn some basic gardening skills."

"Did you hate that as much as camping?"

He'd laughed at her when she'd told him of the camping trips as a child, but they'd both been grateful that she'd remembered some of the lessons when it came time to repair the house.

"Of course. Who wanted to muck around in the dirt when you could be studying quantum mechanics? But I find it very satisfying now watching the seeds sprout and grow."

He laughed with her for a moment before helping her to her feet. "If your tomatoes could spare you for a minute, I'd like your opinion on something in the house."

"Well, you've come to the right person. I always have an opinion."

"Really?"

She nudged his side and laughed all the way back to the house.

Guiding her to the computer terminal that was on the table, Chakotay stood behind her as a plan for a boat circled on the screen. "What do you think?"

"A boat!"

"You said you wanted to explore the river. I think I could build this."

"We could go on a camping trip."

"I'm not sure we could fit the bathtub in the boat."

Turning, Kathryn would her arms around his neck and brought their bodies together. "Well, that's all right. I'll have the river."

He laughed, hands moving to hold her waist. "Shall I take that as approval to start building?"

Nodding, Kathryn stretched and brought their lips together.

After the rather interesting night on the porch, he hadn't tried to kiss her again.

She'd been content to let things progress at whatever rate they progressed at - they really weren't short on time - but if the man built her a bathtub and a home and was prepared to build her a boat because of something she'd mentioned in passing as something that might be nice to do, then Kathryn figured that he deserved something for his efforts.

Not that it was a huge strain on her part.

As soon as their lips touched, five months - or was that two years and five months? - worth of feelings hit her in the blink of an eye.

His lips caressed hers, teasing and tasting until Kathryn felt like an ice cream cone that had well and truly been eaten. His tongue traced her lips and then her teeth and then her mouth while she panted helplessly. His hands held her firmly and she could feel his erection pressing into her belly. Rubbing herself against him while they both moaned, Kathryn kissed him back with everything that she had.

It was perfect, save for one thing.

Pulling back, she frowned. "Do you hear that?"

"Yes." Chakotay frowned too and it took almost a full thirty seconds before it dawned on either of them what the sound was.

"Captain Chakotay, do you read me? This is Tuvok calling Captain Chakotay and Kathryn Janeway. Please respond."

***

"Ready?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"This isn't a Starfleet ship, you know." Chakotay's voice was quiet. "We're not running our lives by the rules that they set and we can still-"

"Don't."

Stepping on to the Bridge for the first time in five months may very easily be the thing to break her heart, Kathryn thought as the turbolift doors opened and they stepped out.

Tuvok nodded to them. "Welcome back."

Everyone was watching them and part of Kathryn wanted to tell them to beam her and Chakotay back to their paradise and just go away.

Chakotay paused at tactical. "The Doctor tells me you contacted the Vidiians after all."

"I disobeyed your order, Captain. I am prepared to accept the consequences."

"If I didn't know you better, I'd say your decision was almost emotional. Thank you all. Well, we've lost time with all this. Let's see if we can make some of it up. Tom, warp eight."

Tom turned back to the helm. "Aye, Captain."

As they moved to their seats, Chakotay turned to her. "We'll need to review the ship's systems. I'll handle propulsion, environmental and communication. You'll be responsible for sensors, weapons and transporters."

"I'll have a report to you by eighteen hundred hours."

"Check with phaser maintenance. See if they solved that problem with the pre-fire chamber temperature."

"Yes, sir. I'll see to it."

Kathryn wanted to cry.

***

They'd been 'home' all of two days when the message came through.

Kathryn had managed to avoid Chakotay off-duty for the whole time, hiding - though she liked to think of it as a tactical retreat - in her Quarters when she wasn't on the bridge or in her office.

Chakotay, for his part, seemed content to give her the space that she needed but Kathryn couldn't imaging it lasting.

Harry's voice broke the silence on the Bridge. "Captain, we're being hailed on a subspace frequency."

Chakotay frowned. "Are there ships in the vicinity?"

Tom shook his head. "Negative. Tracking the source. Seems like it's coming from an unmanned buoy, co-ordinates one four zero mark three one seven."

"It looks like a Kazon signal, Captain." Harry announced after a moments pause.

"Take us out of warp. Open a channel."

Seska appeared on the screen, holding a wailing baby wrapped in a blue blanket. "Chakotay, they're going to take your son. When Culluh saw the baby..." She turned, looking to something off screen. "I hear them coming. I don't have much time. When he saw the baby wasn't his... Please Chakotay, help us. Not for me, for your son..."

***

End